Fall 2013

Fall 2013

Monday, July 2, 2012

The ups and downs of Monday

Monday came too fast. I wasn't ready for it. I savored each moment of the weekend, knowing that it wouldn't last and that I would be heading back to work this morning. But, I was still incredibly sad last night. Mark tries to understand, but he's a guy. And as much as I love him, he is not a particularly emotional guy at that. So the fact that I was in tears about wanting to be home with Maia just did not make sense to him. I didn't sleep well last night and was up early this morning.

Work itself kept me busy. I was glad to see my patients and didn't lack for issues to deal with. It pretty much felt like I had left work on Friday afternoon and came back the following Monday. One of my co-workers dropped me an email welcoming me back and offering her support which was nice. The day passed quickly and I was able to wrap up the essential stuff before heading home.

Arriving home was really the hardest. Seven weeks ago, my precious kiddos were watching for me at the window when I pulled in the driveway. I would hear them squealing with excitement when I got out of the car. And by the time I walked through the front door, they would be at the top of the stairs waiting for me. Today, I walked in the house and Mathew said "hi" but he wasn't too interested in seeing me. Maia was sitting on the floor and didn't show much recognition or emotion. When I picked her up, she didn't enjoy that at all and just wanted to be away. It's hard. My heart hurt so... missing those daily moments with the kids that I treasure. 

On the positive side, Maia had an appointment with the dietician this afternoon. She has not lost any weight since coming home from the hospital. We haven't been using the nutritional supplements and her appetite is improving. Tonight, she ate meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and carrots. Last night, orange chicken, carrots, and fruit. It's wonderful to see her enjoying food a bit more! 

After dinner, she and I were sitting at the table. She knocked over a glass and was so proud of herself. So, we spent about 10 minutes with me stacking things up and Maia VERY purposefully knocking them over. Her movements are still very large and non-specific, but still...That's progress!! 

Matthew is healing well which is good and bad. I'm so happy that he is feeling better, but it makes keeping him quiet that much more difficult. Trying to get creative with activities that burn off a little energy without contradicting the surgeon's recommendations. 

He gave me one of those "Awww" moments tonight. Our bedtime story was about Daniel in the lions' den. As I was reading about the lions, Matthew looked so worried when we got to the page about the king putting Daniel in the den. This got a little better when we finished the story and he saw the lions with their mouths closed and Daniel out of the den and ok. When we were saying prayers, Matthew said "Thank you God and Jesus for stopping the lions." Oh, that boy! He can frustrate me so much one minute and melt my heart the next. Yep, God blessed me by answering my prayers to bring him home.

Tomorrow, Maia has therapy (PT and OT) and Matthew has speech therapy. Busy morning and I think we will try to have a quiet afternoon, being lazy at home.

Thank you for your prayers for my day - I felt them and they made such a difference! You are wonderful and a true blessing to us!


  1. Ah, another "first" is over for you...your first day of work is over and you survived and the kids survived. What good news about glasses being knocked over by Maia! And that Matthew...those kids do melt hearts.

    I am proud of you for getting through the day. It must be surreal and hard and so nice to be home. I take it you have the day off tomorrow?

    Much love, Jane XOXO

  2. I am glad that your work day went well. I understand about the non emotional husband, mine too, he just doesn't get it. I hope Mark's day was a good one too. YAY!!!!! for PROGRESS.
    I love it that she is purposefully knocking things over, great start!!!!! Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, I am doing a happy typing dance!!!!
    Thankyou Heavenly Father God for answered prayer, for healing, for miracles, for progress no matter how seemingly small. Praise God, He hears us, He cares about us, He loves us, He has our plan and He is in control.
    I will be praying for bonding issues for Maia and Matthew. Covering you all in prayer, believing for healing and miracles. Believing in good things for your family. Hugs to you all.
    Jacquelene L.

  3. You had a victorious Monday! Went to work, were productive there and came home to a family who loves you!! Keeping you in my prayers.

  4. You did it! Your first day back at work is behind you. It is good that you were able to feel like you had just been away a few days and not weeks. (My husband, who is a great guy, tends to analyze the whys of emotion and then point out how they make no sense. Don't know if that is just male or the engineer in him but rest assured you are not alone.)

    It is so terrific that Matthew really understands the story about Daniel that you read him. Just a year ago, English was not his language. Children are such sponges and have such an amazing capacity to learn. It is great that he is healing well and feeling good. Just makes keeping him relatively quiet a challenge, but that is a good challenge.

    Maia is making real gains. Some are more noticeable, like the fact that she is eating better and enjoying her meals. In my book the fact that she can purposely knock things down is huge. She is retraining her brain and muscles to work together and making new pathways. Can she hold anything in her hand if you place it there? Baby steps, but huge developmental milestones.

    Hope today's therapies go well, and you find some moments that make you smile. If three months ago someone had presented you with the scenario you now find yourselves in, you would probably have said "No thanks, we could not manage that." Yet you are managing it and doing it well with grace, faith and lots of prayers. Praying today for healing, stamina and peace.

  5. I am so sorry for your hurting heart. I wish I had wonderful words of wisdom. I offer my prayers instead. I will be confident in the Lord, that He will replace some of those "daily moments" you carry in heart with new moments that you will cherish. Erica

  6. Hey my friend! Sorry for the delay in my comments...I hope that you are doing okay with being back to work. You are so strong and have done such a good job of taking care of Maia and Matthew during this difficult time and I know that your heart is so big that you will continue to give and give to your family and your patients as you are back at work. Miss you; please let me know how I can help you!


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