First day of "school"

Well, summer school and vacation bible school that is. Maia's bus was scheduled to come at 7:30am, so I decided I would see her off and then head to work. It was harder than I expected. In fact, the tears are flowing now just thinking about it. The bus came and Val (Maia's usual bus driver) got off the bus to open the door with the wheelchair lift. I didn't notice it at the time, but now looking back at the pictures I took, there's a little bit of apprehension on her face as she is sitting in the bus. At this point, Maia doesn't show a whole lot of expression so we really weren't able to tell if anything was familiar to her or not.

Waiting for the bus

I totally trust Val and the school staff, but this is the first time that she has been away from one of us since the hospitalization (with the exception of a little time with Nana and Papa). Oh, my heart wanted to just bring her back in, wrap her tightly in my arms, and keep her close. It hurts that she wasn't standing at the curb watching for the bus, yelling with excitement when she saw it coming down the street. It hurts that she wasn't able to climb up the steps and wave good-bye to me.

Sounds like Maia did fine at school. She was a little warm (no A/C in the school or on the bus) so they dropped her off first at the end of the morning. She was a little droopy, but Mark said as soon as Maia got inside, she perked back up. She's not particularly tolerant of the heat anyway, so this really wasn't unusual. Was wound up enough that she didn't take a nap this afternoon. And it took a long time to calm down tonight before falling asleep. Wish I knew what was going on inside that beautiful head of hers.

Was nice for Matthew to have some time alone with Mark this morning. They went for a bike ride and ran an errand. Bible school tonight for Matthew. I took him to church and signed him in. Asked if he wanted me to walk upstairs to the sanctuary with him. Ever the "shy" child (NOT), Matthew said "nope," waved at me and off he ran - at warp speed, of course! He is a kid who is going to embrace all that life has to offer. Maybe I can learn a little from his exuberance and willingness to jump with both feet.

Silly moment with dad

I have to trust that God has a reason for this season in our lives. He has brought us to this place. It doesn't make sense to me. In fact, it's downright painful and difficult. There are times when I want nothing more than to cry (oh, yeah - I already do that -lol), scream, beg, plead for Him to take it away and bring the old Maia back. But, I will choose to lean on God and remember that His ways are not my ways. And His strength will be made perfect in my weakness. Given how weak I am,  God's strength has to be amazing!! He has a purpose and my job is to trust. So, trust I will even when it doesn't make sense.