Fall 2013

Fall 2013

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Saturday at home

We enjoyed Maia's first Saturday back home as a pretty lazy day. Somehow, the daily "routine" seems to take a lot longer and by the time that everyone else was ready and I got in the shower, it was after 11am. We went for a walk and Maia rode her trike while I pushed. She isn't pedaling at this point, but it does exercise her legs and the therapist feels that it keeps them familiar with the process of pedaling so that hopefully, one day she will pick it up on her own.

The kids had a nap this afternoon while I worked on some thank-you cards and Mark got a hair cut. Later, Matthew and Mark did some yard work while Maia and I enjoyed the cool inside the house. A friend from church brought over dinner which Maia loved! She ate a small bowl of spaghetti and little piece of brownie with some ice cream. I was impressed!

Poor kiddo has been quite cranky today. Not quite sure what's going on. I hope that it is just her being frustrated. I really struggle with the situation. There are so many "symptoms" that are listed as signs of shunt problems. Things that I really never gave a second thought to a couple of months ago because we just chalked them up to normal toddler behavior. Now, I question everything. I don't want to overreact, but I don't want to ignore a sign of trouble either. Maia's got a new scabbed area that appeared out of nowhere on one of her incision sites. She's irritable and has been sleepy. The mood and sleepiness can sure be attributed to adjusting to home, but it still makes me uneasy. Keeping a close eye on her.

Hoping to make it to church tomorrow morning. Honestly, this is going to be hard for me. Sounds weird, I'm sure. Going back to church is going to be wonderful! I have missed it greatly and look forward to worshiping with our church family. Since Maia's illness, I have found it very difficult to see people who know the "before" Maia. It is extremely emotional and I get quite tearful. Not sure why that is, it's not that I worry about people accepting her. Perhaps because they are a reference point for the "way things used to be."

I miss my girl. Yes, we still have her with us and I am thankful for that every day. But, I miss her smile, her voice, the words that no one else understood (but I did), I miss her hugs. I miss her reading her favorite bedtime story to Matthew and me, so many things. :-(

Hard to believe that tomorrow is my last day at home before going back to work on Monday. That's going to be a tough day. I've been with Maia almost constantly for the past seven weeks. I would not have wanted to be any place else. With both adoptions, I was always ok with going back to work. This time, it's different.   Mark is a great dad and I have no concerns about leaving Maia (and Matthew) with him. But, it's not the same. I'm the mom. I've had this time to learn all those little ideosyncrasies that are new and different. My heart is going to be at home on Monday. Praying for God's strength.

That's about it for what's going on around here. I'll try to get some pictures posted tomorrow. Maia's hair is growing, soon it will be as long as it was when we brought her home. And Matthew has been so sweet with his sister. I am touched by his gentleness (most of the time) with her.

Would you pray for Matthew as well? He's having some discomfort tonight in spite of pain medication. Thanks in advance!!


  1. A day like today was exactly what you needed...time to reconnect as a family. I think that Maia enjoying her dinner is a good sign for a girl you said loved her meals. That said, trust your instincts when it comes to her "off" behavior. You know her best!

    I do understand mixed feeling about attending church. I have at times told my best friend,"Don't be nice to me." Sounds strange, but it is easier to keep body and soul together when people don't show sympathy or act differently. It just emphasizes how different your life is at a time when you are trying to accept this as your new normal. All of this is such hard work emotionally. Just hang in there and it will get easier. You realize after a while you are working to make other people more comfortable with what changed in your life...a role reversal to be sure!

    Going to work Monday will be difficult. For a while every time I let someone convince me that being away from home would be good for me, I'd get away, the feeling of panic would get the better of me and I would go home again. (And I am not one to panic!) It will be difficult but I have read in past updates that you enjoy working with your clients and I pray that you can become involved in your day, finding the time passing quickly. Leaving Mark in charge is best case. He along with you knows what has changed, and what Maia is able to do now.

    Praying tomorrow is an easy day, and that you feel refreshed and uplifted by church. I along with lots of others are praying for you in churches of many denominations across the world. God hears all those prayers.

  2. I think you had a good first saturday. Yes, social situations with the new norm are challenging. Just remember they love, and care for you and your family, they want to support you but sometimes they just don't have the right words or their hearts hurt for you and it shows in their eyes. I think it might show in my eyes too if we met in person, because I know how much your heart hurts with all that has happened.
    YAY! for Maia "riding" her trike, that sounds like good therapy!
    Melanie if symptoms are bugging you and you are feeling that feeling in your gut, don't igore it or pass it off. Pay attention to your feelings and act on it if you feel it is needed.
    That small voice in our mommy instinct is one of the ways the spirit speaks to us I think.
    Covering you all in prayer, especially Maia for cognitive ability and speech, believing for miracles, even when they come as small progressive steps. Praying for your first day back at work, believing that Mark will have a good first day at home with the kiddos. Believing for good for your family.
    Hugs to you all.
    Jacquelene L.


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