Last night Melanie and I went to see the movie UP in 3D. The 3D effects were really good.
The movie was about a couple who wanted to go to the paradise falls in South America. The
wife died and the old man used balloons to float his house to the falls. A great movie for kids
or me. Then we went to get some ice cream at cold stone creamery.

Fabulous Friend Friday

I've decided to devote Fridays to honoring fabulous friends. I am blessed to have the most awesome friends anyone could ask for so why not share how special they are with all of you?

It's tough to decide who to choose for my first Fabulous Friend Friday. There are several people that come to mind. So just know that there is no favoritism in who I have chosen. They are not my closest friends, but two that have supported and influenced me as Mark & I made the decision to grow our family through adoption. Today, I honor Sarah L. and Sara T. as fabulous friends.

Sarah L. and I met many years ago when she and her mom Judy (another dear friend) brought a member of their church to be seen at Mayo. Sarah and her husband Chris have 2 beautiful daughters - gifts from God after struggling with infertility - and a beautiful son - a gift of God from China. Sarah is a wonderful advocate of adoption and a great resource for the many questions I have. When Mark and I began dating, she was there with encouragement and support as our relationship became more serious and led to marriage. Sarah introduced me to Reece's Rainbow (see link at left) and she is an inspiration to me! You can check out her blog http://www.arewethereyetla5.blogspot.com. Thank you for being such a fantastic friend.

Sara T is one of my co-workers. She is mom to a precious adopted daughter and is one of the most fun, caring, genuine people I know. In a previous post, I told the story of how we came to the decision to adopt domestically. When I shared with Sara about my need for a "direction," she listened, cared, and helped me to see the plan God had for Mark and me. She is also a great resource for me and is patient with my questions, compassionate, and another fantastic friend. Thanks Sara for being you!

Stay tuned for next week's edition of Fabulous Friend Friday!

Thankful Thursday

1. I asked Mark what he was thankful for today and he wanted me to share that he is thankful for the opportunity to donate blood tomorrow. Did you know that a unit of whole blood can be separated into 4 different components? This allows the possibility to save 4 lives! Mark is one of the most giving people I know so it is no surprise to me that he is willing to help others in this way. If I remember right, he recently received a 12 gallon donation pin!

2. My "new - to me" vehicle. We had a '99 Explorer that I really loved. That is what we were driving on Mother's Day and unfortunately, it was totalled in our accident. It was in excellent shape and I didn't have high hopes of replacing it with something comparable. Thankfully, we found a 2002 Envoy in our price range that Mark and I both like. It's a comfortable ride and I enjoy driving it - which is important since I travel 2 hours each way to my clinical site (for school).

3. A beautiful mourning dove - I've often felt that mourning doves were a sign from heaven for me. They remind me of my grandmother (who loved them) and my first husband. We have a lone mourning dove who often sits on the railing of our deck for extended periods of time. In the early morning, I can also find the dove sitting on the telephone wire in our back yard or hear it cooing nearby. I have such a sense of peace when my dove is nearby. Call it a coincidence, but I do feel that God is sharing a glimpse of my loved ones in heaven through a beautiful bird.

What are YOU thankful for today? I'd love to hear!

Waiting...

Most days, I feel fairly peaceful about the progress we are slowly making in this adoption journey. I know that God's timing is perfect and that He sees the bigger picture - one that I can't. He will bring our child to us when He is ready and I accept that.

Other days, I am not so patient. Those who are adopting internationally know that if they follow the steps, it is just a matter of "waiting" until their referral comes through - there is some sense of a timeline. I see other friends who already have their children home and I am envious. Not jealous - just filled with a longing for our time to come. I am looking forward to holding our little one and treasuring each moment.

So for my "peaceful" days, I thank God for His work behind the scenes - praying that He is preparing us for parenthood as well as preparing our child for becoming part of our family. On my impatient days, I remind myself of His promise and know that each day is another step in this journey to parenthood.

Memorial Day - Honoring our Servicemen

I’d like to take a moment to mention Memorial Day. Over the years, the meaning of the holiday has changed – perhaps decreased in significance to many people. It has become a day of picnics, yard work, auto racing, a long weekend, for some a reminder of our loved ones who have died. And those are all good things…

However, I would ask that you reflect for a few moments on the original intention of the holiday. Memorial Day originated as a way to honor servicemen (and women) who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country. We have all heard about amazing acts of bravery and heroism – I’m sure there are even more stories that will never be told.

While I don’t always understand or support the choices that our government makes in issues of conflict, I DO support the men and women who fight for the United States. These individuals are worthy of our respect, recognition, and appreciation.

Take a few moments today to commemorate those who have died in service to our country and thank those who have served or are currently serving. Maybe even reach out to those who feel the burden of having family, friends, or loved ones who are deployed and do something to remind them that they are not forgotten.

Mark and I honor, recognize, and thank you on this Memorial Day 2009.

Sad Heart

I had already planned to post about this subject prior to checking out the latest news headlines today - now my heart is even more heavy. In the past few days, I have heard 3 different stories that bring me to tears. The first is the little boy who was found buried on the playground, killed by his mother. The second is a pregnant teenager who asked a young man to beat her so that she would miscarry (the baby survived). The third is a mother charged in the drowing death of her 4 year old - possibly thrown off a bridge with his older sister.

Knowing how many people are waiting to love, raise, nurture a child of their own, it is difficult for me to understand a mother making choices like these women did. Could circumstances have been different if someone had reached out to any of the women, showed them that there are alternatives to such drastic measures? Unfortunately, we will never know. But, I will pray for all parents who are struggling and feel that there are no other options for them. I will pray that God will intervene and protect those children - reconciling where possible, but also opening paths to bring children to the new families that He has waiting for them.

I am thankful that God sees the bigger picture and has a purpose - even in tragedies such as this. And I trust in His promise that Mark and I will one day hold our child and perhaps be able to thank his/her mother for choosing the gift of life.

Melanie is doing such a great job with our blog that I don't say much on it. I want to say that I am looking forward to being a dad and teaching our child some of the things I did as a kid, bike riding, fishing, building bird houses and all that cool stuff.

Toys

Not a great quality picture since it's from a cell phone, but here is Mark on his new dirt bike(vintage 1983). This is a replacement for the one that was lost in our accident on Mothersday.
The location is the airpark/farm where he keeps his ultralight plane - it is also where we were married. Actually, Mark is probably in the middle of our "aisle" in the picture. It's much warmer than our wedding day, though!! :)

Gotta love Saturdays!

Saturdays are probably my favorite day of the week. Usually, we can sleep in a little bit, run a few errands, and just take things as they come.

Today, we woke up early (and I mean EARLY - 5:30am). It was such a nice morning. We relaxed in the hot tub for a little while and decided to get the day started. Mark headed off to check on a dirt bike to replace the one that we lost in our accident and I went to the farmer's market. We're going to enjoy some new potatoes with ribs on the grill tonight - yummy! There is an Amish farmer who I try to buy cucumbers from each time so picked up a few of those as well as some grape syrup for Mark, salsa for my dad, and a chocolate mint plant for my mom. There were a lot of beautiful flower planters there - hoping to buy a couple next weekend. That's about as domestic as I get in the gardening department. Unfortunately, our yard is proof of that. I keep waiting for our neighbors to turn us in to one of those "please help my neighbor's yard" shows. :)

Mark brought his new dirt bike home and enjoyed riding it around the yard for a little while and is now out at the airpark where he keeps his plane - hoping to get his spring pre-flight safety checks done, oil changed, etc and maybe get a little flying in this afternoon. I made a rhubarb cake (thanks to a wonderful friend and co-worker who brought me a HUGE bag) and have been playing around with my new PDA - trying to figure out how it works. Technology is not my strong point - lol!

It's just a nice relaxing day, temperature is about perfect! We've had a few showers off and on, but nothing heavy. I couldn't ask for anything better.

On the adoption front, Mark got our fingerprints and paperwork turned in to our agency yesterday. I know nothing is going to happen over the weekend, but just feel better knowing it is in their hands and that they can get our background check submitted. Now, we wait for that to be completed and when it does, we start our home study! Another small step in this journey...

Thankful Thursday

There are a lot of things I am thankful for today, but these are the ones that come to mind right now.

1. Kathy - the woman who took my fingerprints this morning. I went to the courthouse right away (one thing I could check off my list). Apparently, I was supposed to have an appointment, but since I didn't know this, the receptionist checked to see if they could accomodate me anyway. Kathy agreed and saw me right away. Given comments I've heard from others about it not being a very pleasant experience, I was a little concerned. I shouldn't have been. It was non-threatening, I didn't feel like a criminal, and she was very nice.

2. Concern for adoptive children - I may not feel quite as thankful for all the hoops that we have to jump through in the future, so today I will take the opportunity to be grateful that Mark and I DO have to submit to a background check along with other processes before we are cleared to adopt. I want out birth mother to feel safe in trusting us with "our" child, confident that we will love and cherish them as the priceless gift that they are.

3. Kitties - Yes, I am owned by 2 quite spoiled cats. They make me laugh, drive me crazy, wait for me to get home, and love me. I can't imagine a life without cats!

Vivien

Meechie

4. Mark - Even though my sweet husband is allergic to cats, he allows me to have my kitties. And Meechie who decided I was a traitor when I brought Vivien home loves him better than me most days. :)

What are you thankful for today?

Next Step

My expectations may be unrealistic, but I was a little frustrated with our social worker this week. As I posted previously, we had received a copy of the letter that our fertility doctor sent to our agency. At church on Sunday, our pastor let us know that he had sent our letter of recommendation to them as well. We hadn't heard a thing. On Monday, Mark called to see where things were at. Our social worker called back and said that after reviewing our file, it looked like she had all the initial paperwork and would be mailing out some more paperwork for us on Tuesday.

I was kind of taken aback by the comment about "after reviewing your file..." - what the heck? Now, I realize that we are NOT the only family that she works with. However, wouldn't you think that there would be some type of checklist that as the necessary items were added to our file and marked complete, that would be a trigger for her to initiate the next step in the process? It is a reminder that we are the ones who feel the urgency and we may need to be fairly assertive as we go forward. I would be curious to hear any of your thoughts on this topic. Should we expect to be contacting them more frequently just to keep things rolling?

Now, having said that - we did receive our packet from CC today. It contains our disclosure statement and paperwork for the Adam Walsh background clearance which require our signatures. We also need to be fingerprinted and sign an authorization for release of information from the FBI. Since I have tomorrow off, I will get my fingerprinting done then. Mark will have his taken on Friday so that we can get all these forms back to CC that day. After they receive the results of the background check, we will begin our home study.

I saw a neat quote today by an unknown author that said, "I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday." Seems very appropriate as our adoption journey continues...

Prayer Request

I know my dear hubby thinks I am slightly off my rocker, some of you out there reading our blog may feel the same and that's ok. But, I am going to make the request anyway.

Over the last week or so, I have felt strongly led to pray for our birth mom. We don't know who she is, what may be going on in her life right now, anything about her. But God knows everything that there is to know about her and that's all that matters.

I have been praying for her - health, safety, peace, WHATEVER she may need at that moment. Tonight, I feel compelled to ask you to include her in your prayers as well. Why? I have no idea. I was already in bed, pooped after 2 days of clinicals and ready for sleep. When I felt that little nudge saying, "I want you to post on your blog asking for prayer for your birth mom," I have to admit I was reluctant. Do I have to do it tonight, God? Can't it wait until tomorrow morning - I'm tired, I don't want to get out of bed." The answer came very clearly - "No, you need to post tonight and you need to do it NOW."

So, here I am at the risk of sounding slightly "nuts" (yes, feel free to comment about the fact that being nuts is nothing new for me!) asking for prayer for our birth mom whoever, wherever she may be, whatever her needs are. I am putting my trust in God to answer those prayers.

Thank you in advance!

Thankful Thursday

1. Today, I am thankful for parents. Mark and I are blessed to have 3 sets.

Jerry and Arlene are my parents. They have been married almost 40 years and have taught me about sustaining love over a lifetime. When I was younger, I used to be embarassed when my friends commented that my parents acted like newlyweds. Now, I realize that is something to admire and be proud of. I am thankful that they live close enough that our child will be able to spend time with them and enjoy their hobby farm. Several years ago, when I considered the adoption of a very special little boy as a single parent - they were totally accepting of that. I am thankful for their continued support as Mark and I start our own journey to adopt.

Mert and Joanne are Mark's parents. They are also so special - welcoming me into the family with open arms. Although there are many things that make them a blessing, Mert and Joanne are caring and supportive - for example, they were "right there" when I needed them during an especially difficult time when Mark was on the road. I can see the love they share and appreciate their great example for marriage! They are excited about a new grandchild in the family and I am thankful for their encouragement as we seek to adopt. They also live close to us and our child will enjoy spending time with them - especially fishing with Papa in the summer!

Bonnie and Wally are my first in-laws. After Bob (my first husband) died, I was concerned that my relationship with Bonnie and Wally might change. I still consider them my family and am so thankful that Mark accepts them as a second set of in-laws. Thankfully - Bonnie and Wally continue to be part of our lives. I see them frequently and love them very much! Our child will be blessed to have an extra set of grandparents nearby to love and spoil them - camping will probably be part of the fun,too!

2. I am thankful for computers and blogs. What a great way to share our journey with all those who want to be a part of it!

3. Enough - Although there are times when I want "more," the reality is that I have more than enough. I am thankful to have "enough" money to pay the bills, "enough" love to sustain me every day, "enough" food to eat (ok, you can tell I probably have more than enough of that - lol!), but truly enough of everything I could possibly need. God is good!

Domestic vs International? God has a sense of humor - Part 2

If you haven't read the previous post, you may want to start with that - this post will make more sense if you do! :)

One day I poured out my heart to my friend Chris in an email. When she responded, I was caught off guard by the subject line “slight butt kicking.” What the heck? She told me to go back and re-read the email that I had sent her – she had made some comments as well. In summary, Chris gently told me that although I was claiming that I wanted to do God’ s will – there was no sign of that anywhere in my email, it was all about me trying to create the right situation for us. She asked why I wasn’t trusting that He would bring our child to us instead of me searching for our child. Wow – at first, I was stunned! Then, I stopped and took a deep breath. Chris was right and I needed to hear that message. I wanted to control the situation instead of trusting that God was in control. For about 24 hours, I pondered that and was thankful to her for calling me on my behavior. But, old habits die hard… the next day, I was feeling that urge to begin looking for the right child again.

I talked with a co-worker friend who adopted her daughter. Sara listened as I shared my frustration and sadness – I was really struggling with the lack of direction. In order to start the adoption process, a couple has to make a choice between domestic and international programs because the home study and paperwork is different depending on which program you select. We couldn’t even get things started without choosing and how was I supposed to trust God to work without starting the process? After a thoughtful conversation with Sara and some prayer, I really felt like God was leading us back to domestic infant adoption. The message He sent me was VERY clear – “how can I work a miracle for you if you won’t give me the chance? You are so busy trying to control the situation that you aren’t allowing me the opportunity to bring your child to you?”

Yes, Lord – I hear you! What a sense of peace I felt after that. So, I shared my feelings with Mark. He agreed and we decided that we would submit our application to Catholic Charities. Becky - the social worker – had been the least concerned of anyone we talked with about our age as a barrier. Catholic Charities is local and was also highly recommended by someone I know who has used this agency twice and was very happy with them. We felt that this was our best option as we moved forward.

So, as I kept praying for Mark’s heart to be opened – it was. But, God was just as busy (and maybe even more so) working to change my heart. I think sometimes He must just laugh and shake his head at me saying, “What am I going to do with you?” There is some irony and a fair amount of humor in the fact that we basically came full circle in our decision making process. But after working through all of this, it now feels “right.” I am still hopeful that an international and/or possibly special needs adoption may be part of God’s plan for us some day. But for now, we are right where God wants us to be. And so the journey continues…

Domestic vs International? God Has a Sense of Humor - Part 1

On an earlier post, I said I would share the story of how we came to our decision to pursue domestic adoption. It’s truly a story that shows how God works in our hearts and also a story that proves He has a sense of humor. But, I will warn you – it’s a fairly long story – I’m going to split it into 2 posts.

When Mark and I first started looking at adoption, we could not have been further apart in our thoughts about what road we should take. Mark felt very strongly about domestic infant adoption. On the other hand, I was drawn to international adoption and very much wanted to adopt a child from Eastern Europe or Russia. Ok, drawn may not be a strong enough word – those of you who know me can attest to the fact that I can be fairly opinionated and stubborn when I want my way.

I wasn’t completely opposed to domestic adoption, but as we met with various agencies none of them seemed encouraging about our chance of a birth mom selecting us. The “ideal” age for adoptive parents is between 25-35. We are “older” – Mark is 45 and I am 39. We are not a “Barbie and Ken” couple. My fear was that a birth mom would look at our photo, see our ages, and not be able to get past those two things to see how much we have to offer. With domestic infant adoption, you really are at the mercy of being chosen by a birth mom. I was concerned that a year from now, we would not be any closer to adopting than we are today. Mark was hesitant about adopting internationally. Travel time, cost, and cultural issues were big on his mind – and justifiably so. He is definitely the more practical one in our relationship and I tend to act more from an emotional standpoint. His opinion was that if a birth mom could just see what a great life we can give a child, of course she would choose us.

After a lot of discussion, but no decisions I decided I was going to be very blunt with Mark. I told him that we had 2 options – we could take our chances with domestic adoption – knowing that there was the possibility that we would not get a child or we could pursue international knowing that if we followed the process, it would just be a matter to time until we had a referral. After some thought, Mark agreed that maybe domestic wasn’t the best route for us and we should begin looking at international options. God was already starting to work in his heart.

I was excited! I set out to look at what countries we qualified for and what our best options were. Mark was still hesitant to consider Eastern Europe/Russia because of the previously mentioned concerns. We met with a couple more agencies – talked with families who had adopted internationally, narrowed down our options. Because Mark was still hesitant, I was praying that God would open his heart. I began looking at some of the African countries. Fees were reasonable and travel time was also feasible for Mark. However, he had reservations about – not about loving a child of a different race, but concern about if that child would suffer with very “white” parents and if there would be acceptance issues in our predominantly white, small town community. Again, I was praying that God would open Mark’s heart while still looking at other options he might be more open to. Then, in one of my frequent visits to Reese’s Rainbow, I came across a sibling pair that caught my eye. A little boy and girl – 2 and 3 years old needed a family. Oh, my goodness – here was the opportunity to have my little girl and Mark’s little boy all in one shot. There was just one concern – the little girl is HIV positive. To me, it wasn’t a big deal – we just handle it. However, I knew Mark would have reservations so I gathered as much knowledge as I could, praying again for his heart to be open. To my surprise, he didn’t say “no.” He did raise issues that I hadn’t thought of – insurance coverage, medical expenses, and most important to him was my emotional ability to deal with an ill child who might die.

Hmmm – once again, I was having to take a step back and consider additional issues (God was opening my mind!). As we talked through all of this, my heart was really hurting – Mark and I just didn’t seem to be on the same page at the same time – nothing felt RIGHT. It was extremely difficult for me. I really needed a sense of direction and to know where God was leading us.

One small step

Today, we received a copy of the letter that our infertility doctor sent to Catholic Charities. She was kind enough to make a few personal comments recommending us as excellent adoptive parents - what a thoughtful gesture! This means Becky should have her copy now as well. No, not a huge step - but one of the many little steps in the journey that continues to our child. YAY!

Mother's Day Mishap

Happy belated Mother's Day to all the moms out there!

Yesterday, Mark and I drove to Wisconsin for our annual get together with his mom's side of the family. We had the trailer loaded with three 4-wheelers and the dirt bike so that we could enjoy the trails. About 10 miles from our destination, we were approaching an intersection where cross traffic was required to stop. A car pulled up to the stop sign, stopped, then pulled out in front of us.

I've always heard people say how fast it happens - I've never been in an accident before so didn't really understand. Now, I do. Mark yelled something at me, there was the impact, our airbags deployed, and Mark was telling me to get out of the car because it was going to start on fire. It was tough to get the door open - I was scared. I got out and to the side of the road. Fortunately, there were other cars who stopped to help. God was really watching over us. I didn't have my selt belt on earlier (usually I do) and Mark had said to me, "The trailer is not pulling great - I really want you to wear your seat belt" so I put it on. Things could have been so much worse.

I got banged up a little bit, went to the ER to get checked out, no broken bones - just a badly bruised right elbow and some bruises where the seat belt braced me. Mark is a little stiff and sore. The driver of the other vehicle broke his collarbone and his wife is all right. We are thankful that there were no serious injuries.

Unfortunately, my Explorer is totalled. I'm bummed, I really loved that car. Our trailer, the dirt bike, and one of the 4-wheelers are also "toast." We'll see about the other ATVs. At least, those are just things and not important in the big picture.

Mark's family was a huge help - thanks to them for their assistance coming to the accident site and getting the 4-wheelers moved. Also, to Jill for letting Mark borrow her van to pick me up at the ER. And to Mark's mom and dad for bringing us home last night.

We will heal and life will return to it's usual routine. No more Mother's Day excitement like that for us please!

Crazy?

“What are you thinking?” “Do you know what you are getting into?” “Have you given this enough thought?” “Why would you give up the terrific life that you have?” I know… I’ve heard it in the voices of some of you; I’ve seen it in your face as we’ve shared our decision to adopt. Disbelief, sarcasm, disappointment, negativity – the list could go on.

Yes – we have a great life. We have secure jobs, freedom to do what we want/when we want, the ability to stay up late and sleep in, enjoy the kids around us and send them home. We do a little traveling (a little less than I’d like, a little more than Mark would like – at least right now), have a little breathing room financially (although not much while I’m in school), and enjoy our life. If we don’t adopt, I can’t see that changing except to improve.

We’re “older” - we have friends with children in college. They are at a whole different stage in their lives. I can only think of 1-2 couples that we know with children under the age of 5. There are many arguments and reasons NOT to start our adoption journey at this stage in our lives.

So why are we embarking on this road filled with uncertainty, sleepless nights, financial demands, tears, stress, and potential heartache? I’m pretty sure it’s not because we’re crazy. We are in a good place to start our family right now. We do have secure jobs, we are financially stable, and we have the ability to offer our child some of the things that we wouldn’t have been able to 20 years ago.

In addition, we also want to share all that we have with our precious child. Every day, Mark and I feel blessed to have this life. We choose to see the glass “half-full” and plan to instill in our child(ren) that same appreciation for life, laughter, friends, family, and happiness. We will nurture, teach, love, and guide them to adulthood in hopes that our children will live their lives in a way that the world is a better place for those whose lives they touch.

For those of you who are skeptical, yes – we know that we are choosing to make a radical change in our lifestyle. No – we haven’t anticipated every possibility, but we do know it won’t always be easy or fun. We choose this journey anyway – eagerly awaiting hugs, kisses, mud pies, frogs, diapers, all the things that being a parent brings.

For those of you who offered your congratulations and support, thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Thankful Thursday

For those of you who may not be familiar with this concept, it is the opportunity to take a few minutes on a regular basis and think about what you are thankful for. My friend Sarah introduced me to Thankful Thursday and I've decided to incorporate it into our blog as well.

1. Spring - Although I am not a hot weather fan, I do love spring! The signs of life being renewed and refreshed are wonderful. Hearing the birds sing and seeing the sun shine is great!

2. Mark - My wonderful hubby who is always willing to help out a friend. He and our good friend Ken are cutting down a tree in Ken's backyard this morning.

3. Vacation - This short break between spring and summer semesters give me a little chance to "breathe" again. I needed that.

4. Our adoption journey - We are excited to be starting out on this path and waiting to see what God has in mind for us. I am so thankful that He can see the big picture!

5. "Yippee Jesus!" This is a phrase which I just love. It is used often by Linny the author of a blog that I follow. She inspires and amazes me on a regular basis! I am also thankful to Sarah for sharing Linny's website with me. Check it out here http://www.aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/

Tell me what YOU are thankful for today.

About Mark

My job as a regional truck driver for McLane MN means I stay close to home and do not go over the road for long periods. I have two runs/week which last 24-30 hours at a time. I am home on Wednesdays and my weekend is Friday through Monday. In my free time, I like to fly my ultralight airplane, ride our 4-wheelers and dirtbike. I’m a pretty handy person, I enjoy building projects (like our deck), fixing things (such as lawnmowers), and generally enjoying life. I want to share that with our child. My friends (and Melanie) will attest to the fact that I am about the most laid back, even tempered person they know – life is too short to spend being upset about things that won’t matter tomorrow.

Status

Thought I should probably share where we are at in the adoption process because that IS an important aspect. :)

As we looked at all of our options for adoption, we met with a number of agencies. They all had positive points. Much of the decision hinged on whether we chose domestic or international adoption. Different agencies work with different countries, although all that we met with facilitated domestic adoption. Many of the social workers were not particularly encouraging about "older" parents adopting domestically. The "ideal" couple is between 25-35. This was something that consumed a lot of our time and energy throughout the decision making process. I'll share the whole story of our decision soon, but what it came down to in the end was if we (meaning I - Melanie) was trying to control the situation to ensure we found our child or if we trusted God at His word that He would bring our child to us. I have to say thanks to my friend Chris who gave me a reality check along the way. I needed that!

We have chosen Catholic Charities as the agency that we will work with. Becky, our social worker does not see our age as the barrier that others do and she has been an encouragement in that. I submitted our application last Wednesday. Now, Becky requests verification of infertility from my doctor. She has also requested a statement from our pastor regarding our faith and plans for raising our child in a Christian home (Thanks Pastor Mark!). After she gets those 2 items back, she'll be contacting us for next steps. And so the journey continues...

A Little History

For those of you who know us well, this is probably not new information. But for those of you who we don't know as well or those who are visiting our site for the first time, Mark and I wanted to give a little background of what has brought us to this point. We'll probably share more specifics as we go, in the meantime - here are the basics.

Mark and I met in January 2005. We dated for about 6 months and he proposed in July of that year. Since neither of us were getting any younger (I was 35 and he was 42), we knew that we wanted to start a family right away. Our wedding took place on a chilly (ok, downright cold) October day and people are still talking about the memorable occasion.

We assumed that pregnancy would come easy for us. Unfortunately, that was not the case. For a while we took a laid back approach just enjoying being newlyweds and hoped that getting pregnant would just happen. After 3 years of marriage and much discussion, we decided that we wanted to find out why it wasn't happening. Mark and I went through a fertility work-up with the sobering news that pregnancy was unlikely to be an option for us. Even if I did become pregnant, the chance of complications and high likelihood of miscarriage resulted in our doctor's recommendation that we pursue adoption if we were serious about becoming parents.

To make a long story short (I'll share the long story another time), we have chosen domestic infant adoption as our current path to parenthood. We know that there are many singles and couples out there with the same dream and that our chances of finding a birth mom are in God's hands. When I first began to pray about our infertility issues and His plan for our lives, I clearly heard a message from God. I continue to hear that message every time that I pray for His direction and assurance. Mark and I may not know any of the details, but God does. He has told us "You will have your child." And so our journey continues...