I admit it... I was feeling sorry for myself last night. I did not want to go to work today. I woke up this morning and opened my daily devotion. God sent me a wake-up call! Briefly, it was talking about choosing our thoughts. Our mind is a battlefield and we have to make a conscious choice to allow the mind of Christ to be in control. How we think influences our actions, attitudes, and every part of our lives.
The message was very clear! Having a pity party for myself was NOT the choice God wanted me to make. Yes, He understood my love for Maia and my desire to be with her. But... He also reminded me that I had worked hard to get through school to become a nurse practitioner. God was with me each step of the way. He deserves the praise because I was hired for my "dream" job - the one I had prayed for since I first became a nurse (17 years ago)! There are many people who would be happy just to go to a job - any job. And I have the privilege of going to a job that allows me to care for a group that I am passionate about - the elderly!
I knew that Maia would be fine with Mark. I knew that Mark would be fine with Maia. I was the one who needed to decide if I was going to be fine or not. So, I started praying. I prayed that God would give me peace and reassurance throughout the day. And He did.
Driving in to work was harder than I expected. I was near tears and had a few moments when I really wanted to turn around and go home. But, I got to work and people were happy to see me. I got to brag about our girl a little bit and show off pics of her. And then, I got to see my patients! It felt good to get back in to the routine. Mark sent me updates and pictures of Maia which was very nice. The day passed quickly and before I knew it, I was getting in the car to go home. It was tough not to speed - I was anxious to see Maia.
Walked in the front door and she came running to see me, smiling and saying "Mama." That lasted about 15 seconds and then, she was off to color some more - lol! Oh, well. I guess I can't expect her to be as excited as I was.
Anyway... it was a good first day back and I'm glad that God spoke so clearly to me this morning. He is faithful!