Fall 2013

Fall 2013

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Lesson Learned and Other Observations

Instinctively, I KNEW this. Even though Maia is our first child, I've cared for many children over the years. And even though I had never given a child an enema until recently, I've given my share of enemas to patients during my nursing career. In the back of my mind, there was a little whisper saying, "You may want to rethink your timing and schedule." I should have listened...
So today was the start of round 2 of our 3 day bowel regimen. Day 1 - Enema, Day 2 - Suppository, Day 3 - laxative tablet. Since Maia's appointments start early tomorrow morning, I decided it would be best to do her enema and bath before dinner. Gave her the enema and got her on the potty. She sat for a while, pooped, then I thought it would be safe to get her in the bathtub. Can you see where I'm going with this? Yep.... pooped in the tub with all of her toys. Lovely! Got her out of the tub, back on to the potty while Mark cleaned the tub. Since I hadn't washed Maia's hair yet, I put her back in the tub. Got the hair washed and guess what? Repeat of the above scenario. UGH!! I'm sure that the warm water "encouraged" things to get moving. Note to self... do NOT give Maia a bath within at least 2 hours of getting an enema. I'm not a clean freak, but I don't think I can scrub the tub enough - lol!
Some friends came over this afternoon to meet Maia. Tom, Janelle, and Zach brought over 2 fun books for Maia as well as 2 very cute outfits and a cozy pair of pj's which Maia loves! Thanks so much you guys!
Maia has a routine when she is "coloring." She takes the marker cap off and brings it to me to hold for her. Even if Mark is sitting right there with her and I'm in another room, she will give me the cap and then come back for it when she is ready to switch colors. This afternoon, I decided to was going to start giving her a kiss every time she brought me a marker cap. After a few trips, she started to look for the kiss and then kiss the air back at me. That is the first time she has initiated anything resembling a kiss towards me. I'm taking that as a good sign!
We have a bedtime routine. Maia gets into bed. She looks at a book while I read her a Dr. Suess story. Then, a short prayer from one of her prayer books and I finish with a brief spontaneous prayer for Maia. I give her a hug and kiss, tell her that I love her and good night. She had sone well with this until recently - perhaps too well. Because now, bedtime is not going as smoothly as it did in the beginning. Over the past few nights, the crying has increased. It's been a different crying than her screaming, wailing tantrums. I'm trying to differentiate between Maia being genuinely scared and manipulative behavior. Yes... I know she's only 3. But at the orphanage, she got her way by wailing, crying, pouting, and having tantrums. I don't want to feed into that behavior. On the other hand, I want her to feel safe and secure, to know that she is loved, and be reassured. Anyone have any experience with this type of situation? I'd be open to any insight that others have.
At church this morning, someone asked if there was any part of our life that hadn't changed. The best I could come up with was that I still try to take a shower every day - lol!!


  1. I have never given an enema before but I sure had enough poop in the tub days with my little ones.

    I think you are right on with the bedtime behavior. She is still pretty new to being home so it's hard to say what is best but you may want to try sitting somehwere where she can see you but you aren't feeding into her tantrams if that makes sense. That way she feels secure in knowing you are there but you are not teaching her that screaming gets her attention. As the days go on sit farther and farther away.

  2. We had that exact same night time situation with Laney. Seriously, all I can say is, cave in. This little one has not been loved on, snuggled with, and allowed to sleep with someone who loves her. She may be a little manipulative (our Laney was)but if you stick to your guns, it could have an adverse effect. We stuck to our guns, and I think it delayed bonding with Laney. She just wanted love. She just wanted to sleep with us, or me to sleep with her. Where is the harm in that? If more serious manipulations come down the pike, then deal with those later. But this...I say, spoil her rotten. It's my opinion, but because we lived that exact scenario, I say do it. Cave in to her crying. Prove to her that you are there for her when she's upset. I wish we had.

  3. Just this morning I was reading The Connected Child by Karen Purvis. (a good book well worth the read) and she said this
    "Your child's behavior may indeed be manipulative, but this is not an indictment of her character. It is a habit learned from adversity and necessity.

    I know first hand how hard it is when kids don't sleep. I am so sorry. Just try and remember she is likely just scared. All of the tantrums are just an outward sign of something deeper. NOt any easier but in time it will be better. Have you thought about putting her in your room?

  4. You are doing great. Finish your usual routine and if she starts to fuss sit in her room with her silently. Wait till she settles down a bit. Tell her good night and walk out of the room. If she gets up, return her silently to her toom and put her back in bed. Walk out of the room without saying anything. Repeat until she falls asleep. The time will get shorter each night. She feels loved already and this is harder on you than her. She needs to learn to self sooth. Ria was 3 when she came to live with us after being in 4 different homes, 1 abusive. I think she has turned out ok. You don't want a 10y/o in your room and I know several ppl who didnt break the pattern and that is what they have going on.


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