Fall 2013

Fall 2013

Monday, January 16, 2012

Thank you and clarification

First, let me say thanks to everyone who has written such kind comments in response to my recent post. It helps to know that there are people out there who understand where I'm coming from. Which brings me to my clarification.

Children all need love, nurturing, discipline, boundaries, etc. Doesn't matter whether they were born in a parent's heart or birthed by that parent. What is different for us (and other families who have adopted children from foster care, orphanages, institutions) is that some of those traditional parenting techniques don't work. Children who are raised in a healthy, nurturing environment develop those bonds of love and trust with their parents from day 1. "Typical" parenting methods are more likely to be successful with them. While our kids are doing amazing, we do see some behaviors which can be attributed to their pre-adoption lives. And this is where Mark and I are trying to learn how to parent them effectively - giving them the attention, affection, love, nurturing, etc. that they need while not allowing them to control the household. It is exhausting at times. At this point, I'm still trying to decide how much of this part of our journey to share publicly. If there are others out there who can benefit from what we're learning, that would be wonderful! On the other hand, I also want to respect the privacy of my children.

Anyway to clarify - I don't love my children any less because I didn't give birth to them, but I do have to parent them based on their past experiences and needs. And I will continue to give my all to help them be their very best!!

BTW - Jes, we saw Mad*gascar. :-)

1 comment:

  1. Amen! Ok, I'm totally behind on blog reading so I don't know about your other posts but this is so true and sooooooooo hard sometimes.

    ReplyDelete

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