Thankful Thursday

My post may be a little bit rambling today so bear with me... there is a point - lol!

My circle group at church is reading a wonderful book called Having a Mary Spirit in a Martha World by Joanne Weaver. The words speak so powerfully and personally to me that I am often in tears as I read. They are words that echo my heart. Anyway... this month's chapter was talking about service to others and Jesus washing the feet of the disciples. We discussed how God often calls us to serve others in ways that are uncomfortable for us. I shared a story that I had read about Beth Moore being told by God to comb the hair of an elderly man in an airport. Now, I am great with talking, giving advice, encouraging others. But, I'm not that great about practicing what I preach. In fact, I'm pretty darn bad at it. If God spoke to me asking me to do something similar, I'm not sure I would have been faithful enough to act. I left our group that night not really giving a whole lot of thought to how God might make that personal to me. Silly girl!

Yesterday morning, I was reading my devotional and it talked about the challenges I would face that day and how I needed to look to God instead of circumstances. I prayed about it, but again didn't think much about how this was personal to me. THEN...at work, my co-workers and I found out about an upcoming change that will affect all of us. It won't change the job I do or how I do it. But, it will take me out of my comfort zone, away from the familiarity of my current work environment - patients I know well, colleagues who I am truly blessed to call friends as well. It will require me to serve differently. How did I respond? Honestly, not well at all. It was all I could do not to spend the whole day in tears. I went home last night, ate dinner, put the kids to bed, and went to bed myself. I just wanted to wallow in my misery.

This morning, I woke up early and read my devotion. It was talking about seeking God first, looking at His face and seeking His strength. Hmmm... maybe He was speaking to me?? I left home with a little better attitude (although there was still room for a LOT of improvement) and headed off to the gym to exercise before work. While on the treadmill, I was watching a female Christian speaker who tells it like it is. I enjoy that about her because she really challenges me to look at my perspective. Her topic was about our heavenly father calling us to be obedient, to ACT, to quit feeling sorry for ourselves and our circumstances. To choose to keep our eyes focused on what is important - GOD!! Yep, I was convicted. There was no doubt I was supposed to be hearing that message right now because it definitely applied to  me.

Which brings me to what I am thankful for this Thursday.

• I am thankful that God speaks to me. That He calls me out of my warm, cozy, little comfort zone and stretches me. That even when I am whining and crying, God is there. He reminds me that the things I am complaining about really don't matter in the big picture. If I would just stop kicking, screaming, having my little temper tantrums, maybe I could see the blessings that come from challenges (BTW - God gave me a good giggle with that one. He told me to picture Matthew's tantrums and consider the fact that mine were probably worse similar - oh, I have so much to learn).
• My beautiful kids. Last night when I got home, I crawled on to the bed, desperate for some peace. The kids quickly got on the bed and cuddled up to give me lots of attention, hugs, and kisses. What precious gifts they are and how blessed I am to be their mom.
• My sweet hubby. It's hard for him to understand all this emotional stuff, but he does his best to be supportive. I am so appreciative of his tolerance for me - definitely beyond what I often deserve. I love him so much!

What's on your Thankful Thursday list?