10 days from right now, we will be in Kiev (hopefully somewhat recovered from the time change). If all goes well, we will be finished with our SDA appointment in which we will receive the referral for our child. It's hard to even imagine and AMAZING!
Am I scared? Yes. I would be lying if I claimed otherwise. I don't think it's any different than if I was becoming a parent through pregnancy. Will I be a good parent (I already know that Mark will be the "fun" parent and I will probably be the strict one)? Will I be patient enough? How will I cope when my child is having a melt-down and I can't even understand what they are saying? How will our financial picture change? The expenses are adding up and we haven't even left yet. How will my relationship with Mark change? So many questions...
My daily devotion helped me to refocus. It was talking about how often we start looking at things around us and what others have/are doing. We start to make comparisons and feel inadequate about ourselves. We need to put on "soul-blinders" that help us to focus on God. Deuteronomy 5:32-33: "So be careful to do what the LORD your God has commanded you; do not turn aside to the right or to the left. Walk in all the way that the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess."
God travels this path with us. Throughout this journey, I have asked for His guidance and prayed that if adopting from Ukraine was NOT part of His plan, that He would make it perfectly clear. Did that happen? Nope! Instead, God showed us this path to our child (who just happens to be in Ukraine) and has continued to clear the way for us. I need to remain focus on Him and following where He leads, doing what He commands. That is what matters. He is constant, reassuring me that even though I will not be a "perfect parent," He has chosen Mark and I as perfect parents for our child.
So... am I still scared? Yes. But, am I excited? OH, YES!! Let the countdown begin!