There hasn't been much to share lately about our adoption journey. To be honest, I have felt pretty discouraged. That has made me ambivalent about the whole process. As Mark and I talk, we've wondered if maybe we met each other "too late" in life to become parents, that maybe we should just accept that it isn't meant to be. We haven't felt led to pursue any specific course of action. I think that has led us to become a little complacent.
In April, we attended an adoption workshop. We left with a plan for an outreach that we hadn't tried. But... momentum kind of drained away and we haven't completed our plan of action.
A few weeks ago, I was given some information that may lead us down a certain path for adopting (sorry I can't be more specific at this time) and made some inquiries. Mark began to feel pretty strongly about the situation and I have to admit that I was kind of digging my heels in - afraid to commit to one way or the other.
So... I asked for advise from others. Some were friends and family, some were people I have never met and really don't know. As I read their responses, a couple things stood out. One person challenged me by saying that God doesn't reward indecision. Another reminded me of some of the things that God has done in my life that have the potential to benefit us as we adopt. She also reminded me that Satan wants us to be insecure and indecisive, he wants us to question, and he hates adoption (I have seen proof of that as I have read other's adoption blogs) BUT God wants to bless us!
Those words spoke volumes to me. They filled me with a new sense of determination and gave me peace as well as a renewed commitment to "staying the course." With that in mind, I was busy today - studying, praying, making phone calls, sending emails, trusting HIS promise! Some day when we look back on this, we will be able to see how God connected all the dots to fulfill his plan for our life.
I hope to be able to share more soon.