Quick post

Just a quick note - feeling a little stressed this evening. Just want everything to be moving as quickly as possible for our adoption plans. Although I am not able to share much in specifics right now, there IS a sense of urgency in the process!

I am studying for my certification exam which I will take next Tuesday. Talk about competing priorities... I guess studying is probably the immediate priority. After the exam is over, I can focus on compiling all of the necessary paperwork for our dossier.

I sent a few more items off to our home study agency this afternoon. There are a couple of things left, will probably have Mark work on them this weekend so that we can get the forms in the mail next week. Waiting to hear back from the social worker about scheduling the time for her to visit us.

So... trying to remind myself that God's timing is perfect. He is in control - not me!

the weekend

I have not put much on the blog for a while. This weekend was way to short. Friday I went to my inlaws place in Redwing to get my skidloader. I found out that my little Ford F-150 with an inline 6 is not enough to pull a skidloader.  I did not push it too hard but we also only got up to 40 mph.  I took the skidloader to the airpark in Wanamingo.
Saturday I spent the day at wanamingo playing with my new toy (the skidloader) That was a lot of fun.

Sunday we went to Albert Lea to have dinner with Marge, She had a little storm damage to a tree Saturday night so we helped clean it up for her, now I have a pickup full of tree branches sitting in the driveway.


Mark

Thankful Thursday

Today, I am very thankful for awesome friends! The first picture is of Denise, Guy, Jeanne, Ken, Mark and me. There truly are no words to tell you how much the friendship of these 4 has meant to me - they have seen me at my best and my worst, shared the happiest and saddest moments of my life - and still manage to put up with me. The picture was taken last weekend at Josh and Maddy's wedding - too bad the father of the groom was hiding - lol!

This is a picture of me with my friends Joan and Denise (yes, different Denise). We have been friends since my first go-round in nursing school. They were bridesmaids in my first wedding. We manage to get together once or twice a year and always have a great time!

I am also thankful for my new job! I can tell that I am going to really enjoy it. From the time I was young, I have felt that God gave me a special heart for working with the elderly. He has truly blessed me with this opportunity.

Our EXCITING news!!

I've been so eager to share our news with everyone, but wanted to wait until we had some of the process started. We also wanted to tell family and a few close friends before posting it here. So, here it is:

We have officially started the process to adopt from Eastern Europe! It has been a long journey to this decision - one I will share later, but we feel that this is where we are supposed to be. Out of respect for the country's confidentiality guidelines related to their children, we will not be sharing any child specific information while this blog is public. Haven't decided whether or not we will make the blog private at some point so that we can share more. For now, we think we will keep it public and perhaps in the future create an private email distribution list where we can keep people more updated.

We are able to share our movement throughout the process and I will continue to blog about the journey itself as we move ahead. As of right now, our service agreement for the agency we will be working with has been signed and is on it's way to them. Because we already have an approved domestic home study, it will just need to be updated. Unfortunately, our awesome social worker Becky will not be able to assist us with this so we are working with another home study agency (our adoption agency is out of state and is not able to update our home study) to get this accomplished.

From what I have heard from others, international adoption is a huge paper chase. The perception is that it is an easy process. I don't think that is the case. I'm sure it will be a learning experience for Mark and me. For everything that is in our control, we will move as quickly as possible. For things that are out of our control, please pray for expediency and leniency on the part of the foreign government.

I will post more soon, but that's all I have time for right now. We are so excited to be on this journey to bring our little one home - please join us and follow along!!

Thankful Thursday

First, I'm thankful for health. Saw my surgeon yesterday - everything looks good and I was given clearance to go back to work. Am I thankful to go back to work? Weeeellllll, I can't say that I would complain if Mark told me that I could be a housewife. However, I am thankful that I am able to work. Besides, I am excited about my new job and thankful for the opportunity to care for the elderly. Being a nurse practitioner in a nursing home has been my dream for many years.

Second, I am thankful for this time that I have had to recuperate and rejuvenate. I may have mentioned that in a previous Thankful Thursday post so forgive me if I am repeating. It has been a much needed physical and mental health break. And I am thankful that my supervisor at work was generous in allowing me to have this time off, knowing that I would only be back for a few days before transitioning to my new job.

Lastly (for today anyway), I am thankful for ice cream! I had an oh, so yummy amaretto ice cream with brownies, carmel, hot fudge, and pecans this afternoon. Talk about indulgence!

What are you thankful for today?

Life and waiting

We had a good weekend - pretty quiet. Mark still isn't feeling great - just the wonderful summer cold stuff. On Saturday, my friend Kari came for a visit and we had a nice time. Mark had a bachelor's party to go to Saturday night - Josh, son of dear friends Jeanne and Ken is getting married next weekend - Mark is an usher in the wedding. Sunday, went to church and then had a graduation open house to attend. Afterwards, went shopping to get some items for a care package to send to Mark's cousin who is in Iraq.

Tomorrow is my last day of leave. At first, I was pretty sure that I would be going stir-crazy by the time it was over. Instead, I easily settled into my life of leisure - lol! I tried convincing Mark that I could become a housewife - he didn't seem to agree with me. Something about paying bills and saving for retirement... I will spend a few days wrapping up ends at my current job and am scheduled to start my new job (yay!) on June 23.

As I shared recently, we are thinking our adoption plans may be taking a specific direction soon. I am not good at waiting, maybe there will be more to share in the near future!  :)

sick

I was at home sick today, I slept about 20 hours

mark

Love

For a while, I had a button here on the blog asking people to pray for a little girl named Chrissie. She was adopted from Serbia and fought a courageous battle following heart surgery for very severe heart/lung defects. If you have followed my blog for a little while, you may remember my post last month saying that Chrissie had lost her fight. Her story is truly amazing - God used this precious angel to bring so many people from all over the world closer to Him. Chrissie's mom Lorraine shared a slide show of Chrissie's life on her blog and I would encourage you to check it out here. I hope it will touch you as much as it did me.

I love one of the quotes that is part of the slide show...

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
— C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)
 
Our life is pretty simple right now, we could keep it that way - continue to enjoy a life with few responsibilities or commitments, freedom to come and go as we choose, somewhat self-centered, by all accounts an enviable life. It's a good life and one we enjoy. Instead, we are going to make ourselves vulnerable - open our hearts to a child who may be the source of some of our greatest joys and greatest heartaches - a child who will change our lives in ways that we can not imagine. We will be vulnerable and human, but isn't that what makes life worth living?

Weekend and Happy Anniversary!

It was a short weekend. Mark had an extra run this week so he didn't get home until late Friday evening. He's a little under the weather - the wonderful summer cold. It's tough when he doesn't have a full weekend to recuperate.


Yesterday, we ran errands in the morning and spent a little time together. Mark napped in the afternoon and then we went to pick up his new toy. I think I shared last weekend that he bought a skid loader. We don't have a trailer big enough to haul it so our friends Guy and Denise borrowed us their car trailer. My parents used their truck (Mark's needs to get in the shop) and hauled the skid loader back to their place. Sure my dad will have fun using it (for things like cleaning out the cow pens) until we are ready to take it to the cabin. Had dinner with mom and dad last night afterwards.

Today, was my parents 40th wedding anniversary! We had a small dinner for them with some close friends at an absolutely yummy Italian restaurant in St. Paul. Chicken marsala, pasta, lasagna, etc. served family style with dark chocolate cake and tiramisu for dessert. Good stuff! Here are a few pics from the day.

Me, Pearl, Lily, and the other Sparky

Dad, Mom, Joan (mom's "twin" - they were born the same day, their moms shared a hospital room, and they've been friends ever since), and Becca

Not only did we celebrate my parents' anniversary, we also celebrated Becca's birthday. Her mom Gail is on the right.

Happy 40th anniversary mom and dad! Thanks for being a wonderful example of love and commitment!

Reassurance

My last two posts have really been about hearing God's voice. I'm going to continue along those lines today. Before I went for a walk this morning, I opened the short daily devotional I get in my email. I like to read it before I start my walk so that I can think about and pray about its' meaning. So, when I read the bible verse for today... I was excited because I knew that today's devotion was going to speak to me. The verse was the exact same one that we have at the top of our blog. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, To give you hope and a future."  That is part of the promise that I heard from God when He said, "You will have your child."

Do you know what the next verses (12-13) are? I have to admit that I didn't but when I heard them, I knew this was a message I was meant to hear. "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." The prayer that went with this devotion said, "Thank you for resurrecting my hopes and dreams and making my life much better than I ever imagined."

Talk about reassurance. Over the past month or so, I have felt like God was reminding me that He has to be the priority in my life.He is filling me with the desire to call upon Him, to come to Him in prayer, to seek Him with all my heart. Of course, I am human and this is an area which I definitely need to work on. I am taking baby steps and thank goodness that God loves me in spite of my failures. It will be a life long process. Anyway... right now, we are waiting for information that could start us down a specific path to adopt. When I read that verse "You will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will LISTEN to you," I knew that God was affirming that He is hearing our prayers. And He has blessed my life beyond measure! When I met Mark, hopes and dreams that had been put aside for many years were resurrected. Every day, I am thankful for this life that I live.

Ok... so I digress. I turned on P*ndora and the first song that came up was one of my favorites, "Word of God Speak" - just another confirmation that God is hearing me as I seek Him. Anway, it rained overnight, so things were damp outside and there was moisture on the sidewalk. As I walked along, I was thinking about God's presence in my life and praying. I came across footprints. Now, these were not shoeprints, but prints from bare feet on the sidewalk. The image came to mind of the Footprints in the Sand story. I wish I would have stopped to take a picture because it just looked so cool. Yep - here He was again reaffirming His presence in each step I take.

It was was also a reminder that God is with us in our adoption journey, too. I am hoping we will have some more information to share with you soon. Believe me, I am feeling so impatient. In the meantime, I know that the one who is the Father to all children (and every one of us) is watching over our child right now, waiting for the right time to place him/her in our arms. He is listening to our prayers!

Thankful Thursday

Isn't it great when you see that God has used you to help someone else? In my last post, I shared that words from others gave me a sense of peace, purpose, and direction - helping me to overcome a "hurdle" that I had been struggling with> Their wisdom was such a blessing to me and I am so thankful for that. I debated about sharing that here, but felt like I was supposed to. Imagine my surprise when I heard from someone who said that what I shared helped them!!  That was such a precious gift for me - to know that I made a difference by sharing what I was going through. I am very thankful that God used my blog to speak to someone else!

My grandparents had peonies in their yard and they are one of my favorite flowers. Before their house was sold, I was able to take a couple of the peony bushes from their property. I have these in my backyard and they are blooming. They are so beautiful and having that special memory of my grandparents is another thing I am thankful for today! (I'll try to get a pic posted)

While we wait...

There hasn't been much to share lately about our adoption journey. To be honest, I have felt pretty discouraged. That has made me ambivalent about the whole process. As Mark and I talk, we've wondered if maybe we met each other "too late" in life to become parents, that maybe we should just accept that it isn't meant to be. We haven't felt led to pursue any specific course of action. I think that has led us to become a little complacent.

In April, we attended an adoption workshop. We left with a plan for an outreach that we hadn't tried. But... momentum kind of drained away and we haven't completed our plan of action.

A few weeks ago, I was given some information that may lead us down a certain path for adopting (sorry I can't be more specific at this time) and made some inquiries. Mark began to feel pretty strongly about the situation and I have to admit that I was kind of digging my heels in - afraid to commit to one way or the other.

So... I asked for advise from others. Some were friends and family, some were people I have never met and really don't know. As I read their responses, a couple things stood out. One person challenged me by saying that God doesn't reward indecision. Another reminded me of some of the things that God has done in my life that have the potential to benefit us as we adopt. She also reminded me that Satan wants us to be insecure and indecisive, he wants us to question, and he hates adoption (I have seen proof of that as I have read other's adoption blogs) BUT God wants to bless us! 

Those words spoke volumes to me. They filled me with a new sense of determination and gave me peace as well as a renewed commitment to "staying the course." With that in mind, I was busy today - studying, praying, making phone calls, sending emails, trusting HIS promise! Some day when we look back on this, we will be able to see how God connected all the dots to fulfill his plan for our life.

I hope to be able to share more soon.