So not a good patient

As I have shared before, I have control issues. And as I shared in my last post, I am not a good patient. If I am sick for more than a couple of days, I get cranky. I would probably get well quicker if I wasn't pushing the limits. Instead of resting, I want to be going places, getting things done, crossing items off my to-do list, doing things for others. I don't like to be slowed down by a body that isn't cooperating with me.  It makes me feel week and ineffectual.

As I was sitting here this morning thinking - well, really whining to myself (and God) about how I wanted to feel better NOW, I felt like He was telling me to slow down and think about my priorities. That there is a purpose to this time of rest.

A bible verse came to mind and I'm paraphrasing... "God's strength is made perfect in MY weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9. For the past few years (and most of my life), I have been so busy trying to demonstrate my own knowledge, competence, ability to be on top of everything, etc. that I have not allowed God's strength to work. As usual, I'm trying to maintain control instead of turning things over to Him - the one who knows ALL things, the one who IS in control, who has a plan for my life - a plan that exceeds anything I can imagine. That seems pretty arrogant to think that I know better than God, doesn't it?

So... maybe (ok, not maybe - definitely), I need to allow myself to be weak for a change. I need to give up control to "the ONE" who has my back, the great physician and healer. Perhaps I should use this time to allow God to be the strong one instead of me...