Matthew and I were looking at an ABC book tonight before bed. I was so discouraged by how little recognition he had of letters and the fact that he does not know the ABCs. Over the past few weeks, FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder) has been mentioned to us several times. To be honest, I've kind of been an ostrich and buried my head in the sand - not wanting to acknowledge the possibility (even though deep down I know it's true).
Many years ago, I wrote a paper about fetal alcohol syndrome. That was back when it was just starting to be recognized. My recollection of the information I learned has long since faded. So after Matthew went to bed, I decided to do a bit of searching. The first article I read described my son perfectly. It broke my heart and also brought me to my knees. Although there was no spiritual reference (it was a medical article), I was reminded that I am so in need of God's help to be the parent that Matthew needs me to be. Praying for His strength and guidance.