Love

For a while, I had a button here on the blog asking people to pray for a little girl named Chrissie. She was adopted from Serbia and fought a courageous battle following heart surgery for very severe heart/lung defects. If you have followed my blog for a little while, you may remember my post last month saying that Chrissie had lost her fight. Her story is truly amazing - God used this precious angel to bring so many people from all over the world closer to Him. Chrissie's mom Lorraine shared a slide show of Chrissie's life on her blog and I would encourage you to check it out here. I hope it will touch you as much as it did me.

I love one of the quotes that is part of the slide show...

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
— C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)
 
Our life is pretty simple right now, we could keep it that way - continue to enjoy a life with few responsibilities or commitments, freedom to come and go as we choose, somewhat self-centered, by all accounts an enviable life. It's a good life and one we enjoy. Instead, we are going to make ourselves vulnerable - open our hearts to a child who may be the source of some of our greatest joys and greatest heartaches - a child who will change our lives in ways that we can not imagine. We will be vulnerable and human, but isn't that what makes life worth living?

Weekend and Happy Anniversary!

It was a short weekend. Mark had an extra run this week so he didn't get home until late Friday evening. He's a little under the weather - the wonderful summer cold. It's tough when he doesn't have a full weekend to recuperate.


Yesterday, we ran errands in the morning and spent a little time together. Mark napped in the afternoon and then we went to pick up his new toy. I think I shared last weekend that he bought a skid loader. We don't have a trailer big enough to haul it so our friends Guy and Denise borrowed us their car trailer. My parents used their truck (Mark's needs to get in the shop) and hauled the skid loader back to their place. Sure my dad will have fun using it (for things like cleaning out the cow pens) until we are ready to take it to the cabin. Had dinner with mom and dad last night afterwards.

Today, was my parents 40th wedding anniversary! We had a small dinner for them with some close friends at an absolutely yummy Italian restaurant in St. Paul. Chicken marsala, pasta, lasagna, etc. served family style with dark chocolate cake and tiramisu for dessert. Good stuff! Here are a few pics from the day.

Me, Pearl, Lily, and the other Sparky

Dad, Mom, Joan (mom's "twin" - they were born the same day, their moms shared a hospital room, and they've been friends ever since), and Becca

Not only did we celebrate my parents' anniversary, we also celebrated Becca's birthday. Her mom Gail is on the right.

Happy 40th anniversary mom and dad! Thanks for being a wonderful example of love and commitment!

Reassurance

My last two posts have really been about hearing God's voice. I'm going to continue along those lines today. Before I went for a walk this morning, I opened the short daily devotional I get in my email. I like to read it before I start my walk so that I can think about and pray about its' meaning. So, when I read the bible verse for today... I was excited because I knew that today's devotion was going to speak to me. The verse was the exact same one that we have at the top of our blog. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, To give you hope and a future."  That is part of the promise that I heard from God when He said, "You will have your child."

Do you know what the next verses (12-13) are? I have to admit that I didn't but when I heard them, I knew this was a message I was meant to hear. "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." The prayer that went with this devotion said, "Thank you for resurrecting my hopes and dreams and making my life much better than I ever imagined."

Talk about reassurance. Over the past month or so, I have felt like God was reminding me that He has to be the priority in my life.He is filling me with the desire to call upon Him, to come to Him in prayer, to seek Him with all my heart. Of course, I am human and this is an area which I definitely need to work on. I am taking baby steps and thank goodness that God loves me in spite of my failures. It will be a life long process. Anyway... right now, we are waiting for information that could start us down a specific path to adopt. When I read that verse "You will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will LISTEN to you," I knew that God was affirming that He is hearing our prayers. And He has blessed my life beyond measure! When I met Mark, hopes and dreams that had been put aside for many years were resurrected. Every day, I am thankful for this life that I live.

Ok... so I digress. I turned on P*ndora and the first song that came up was one of my favorites, "Word of God Speak" - just another confirmation that God is hearing me as I seek Him. Anway, it rained overnight, so things were damp outside and there was moisture on the sidewalk. As I walked along, I was thinking about God's presence in my life and praying. I came across footprints. Now, these were not shoeprints, but prints from bare feet on the sidewalk. The image came to mind of the Footprints in the Sand story. I wish I would have stopped to take a picture because it just looked so cool. Yep - here He was again reaffirming His presence in each step I take.

It was was also a reminder that God is with us in our adoption journey, too. I am hoping we will have some more information to share with you soon. Believe me, I am feeling so impatient. In the meantime, I know that the one who is the Father to all children (and every one of us) is watching over our child right now, waiting for the right time to place him/her in our arms. He is listening to our prayers!

Thankful Thursday

Isn't it great when you see that God has used you to help someone else? In my last post, I shared that words from others gave me a sense of peace, purpose, and direction - helping me to overcome a "hurdle" that I had been struggling with> Their wisdom was such a blessing to me and I am so thankful for that. I debated about sharing that here, but felt like I was supposed to. Imagine my surprise when I heard from someone who said that what I shared helped them!!  That was such a precious gift for me - to know that I made a difference by sharing what I was going through. I am very thankful that God used my blog to speak to someone else!

My grandparents had peonies in their yard and they are one of my favorite flowers. Before their house was sold, I was able to take a couple of the peony bushes from their property. I have these in my backyard and they are blooming. They are so beautiful and having that special memory of my grandparents is another thing I am thankful for today! (I'll try to get a pic posted)

While we wait...

There hasn't been much to share lately about our adoption journey. To be honest, I have felt pretty discouraged. That has made me ambivalent about the whole process. As Mark and I talk, we've wondered if maybe we met each other "too late" in life to become parents, that maybe we should just accept that it isn't meant to be. We haven't felt led to pursue any specific course of action. I think that has led us to become a little complacent.

In April, we attended an adoption workshop. We left with a plan for an outreach that we hadn't tried. But... momentum kind of drained away and we haven't completed our plan of action.

A few weeks ago, I was given some information that may lead us down a certain path for adopting (sorry I can't be more specific at this time) and made some inquiries. Mark began to feel pretty strongly about the situation and I have to admit that I was kind of digging my heels in - afraid to commit to one way or the other.

So... I asked for advise from others. Some were friends and family, some were people I have never met and really don't know. As I read their responses, a couple things stood out. One person challenged me by saying that God doesn't reward indecision. Another reminded me of some of the things that God has done in my life that have the potential to benefit us as we adopt. She also reminded me that Satan wants us to be insecure and indecisive, he wants us to question, and he hates adoption (I have seen proof of that as I have read other's adoption blogs) BUT God wants to bless us! 

Those words spoke volumes to me. They filled me with a new sense of determination and gave me peace as well as a renewed commitment to "staying the course." With that in mind, I was busy today - studying, praying, making phone calls, sending emails, trusting HIS promise! Some day when we look back on this, we will be able to see how God connected all the dots to fulfill his plan for our life.

I hope to be able to share more soon.

Weekend

We had a good weekend. On Saturday, we headed north to the cabin with Mark's friend Brad. Brad's sons Tyler and Cody came with, as well as Brad's dad Delmar. Thanks to Delmar, there has been a huge improvement in our driveway. He was kind enough to haul his skid loader to our cabin (4 hour trip each way) and enhance the "bridge" that Mark had built over a very low area. We are so appreciative that he would be that generous with his time and talents on a holiday weekend!

Yesterday, was a pretty non-productive day. My parents invited us for lunch and we spent the afternoon with them. We enoyed visiting and got to see the 2 new pigs, Patsy and Petunia.

I know I haven't mentioned much related to our adoption lately - we've been trying to make some decisions... I'll be posting more very soon!

Thankful Thursday

As beautiful as the weather is today, I think I HAVE to start with saying that I am thankful for such a nice day. A little warm in the sun, but a nice breeze - sitting in the shade is wonderful. Couldn't ask for a better forecast for the holiday weekend. Well, I could but only because I like things a little cooler. For the rest of you, it's about perfect!

I had lunch with a several co-workers today which was a treat. I'm not missing work, but they are also good friends so it was nice to visit a little while because I DO miss them.  Add yummy Mexican food to that and it's even better!

Safe travels - Mark's mom and dad headed for their summer place on Tuesday. Joanne called to say that they made it safely, although the kitties took some coaxing when it was time to put them in their carriers for the trip. We will spend a week with them late this summer and are looking forward to that! Although this will be the 6th summer that I have made the trip, this will be the FIRST trip that I won't bring work and/or school with  me. YAY!  I guess I shouldn't sound too confident, but I don't foresee having to bring anything with me other than some books that have been calling my name...