The Wait

Yesterday as I was getting ready for our meeting with Becky (social worker), I came across an article in our folder about the importance of maintaining hope while waiting. I glanced at it briefly and thought "yes, it's good to stay positive." When we left Becky's office, I could feel a little bit of discouragement coming on - nothing major, but the reality is that there are 25 other families who are waiting and hoping for a new addition to their family - just as much as we are. Right now, there aren't any new birth moms on the horizon. A couple of months ago, I felt like God was giving me a specific time frame to be planning for - now I'm less certain of that. It would be easy to feel discouraged.

Surprisingly enough, I'm not. As I have said before, God knows the big picture. What I think and want to happen might be very different from His plan for Mark and me. That makes it easier to wait. Today, I had finals for my summer classes. It occurred to me that in spite of the stress and chaos I have because of school, it really is a GOOD thing! I'm able to focus on the task at hand which is getting through each class, completing as many clinical hours as possible, and knowing that each day brings me closer to graduation. Although "finding" our child is on my mind, it does not occupy my every waking moment. I'm able to trust that when God's timing is right, we will become parents.

Isn't it great knowing that someone else is in charge??