Thankful!

I had a vague feeling today that there was something of significance that had happened right about this time of year. And so I went back reading old blog posts. Sure enough...

Three years ago this week, my wonderful hubby got tired of listening to my tears at night and asked me to tell him what I thought about Matthew. I remember lying in bed, afraid to admit what God had been whispering to me. Mark didn't want Matthew to be transferred to an institution, but didn't feel like we were in any position to adopt again. I understood and respected that. So, I took a deep breath and hesitantly said, "I feel like he is our son." Mark told me that because I had trusted him in knowing that Maia was our daughter, he trusted me in knowing that Matthew was our son. And so our race to get him home began.

God was faithful throughout that journey and blessed us beyond measure. Yes, he has stretched us and made us move outside our comfort zone. The past three years have been some of the most difficult of my life. Moments of great joy, others of great sadness and frustration. 

As I looked back at your comments in response to my announcement, one really stood out. Veronica, you mentioned that now we would have no "what ifs?" We didn't have to wonder and worry about what had happened to Matthew. He would join our family as a much wanted son!

And for that, I am thankful! Thankful for the God who heard my cries, my prayers, my begging on behalf of a sweet boy whose face was etched in my heart. Thankful that He has been with us each step of this journey. Thankful for my son and the road to him which officially began three years ago this week.

  

Putting the pieces of my "puzzle" together with God - a Thankful Thursday post

Have you ever tried to put a puzzle together without having any idea what it is supposed to look like when it is completed? It has occurred to me that when we attempt to get through life and make decisions independent of God, that's exactly what we are doing. 

Often, we convince ourselves that we know exactly how our lives "should" look. Perhaps the edges of the puzzle are our past experiences - the ones that have shaped us into the people that we are today. Those pieces are easier to put together because we can start with the corners and work our way out to complete a basic frame for our puzzle. 

We think we might have a sense of what the final picture is going to look like. So, we begin to search for pieces that might fit together. And some of them do. Sometimes, we even get enough pieces to match so that we can visualize parts of the puzzle. So it is as we grow and mature. Those moments come when you can look back and say, "Ok God, now I understand why such and such happened. I can see why you led me down this path."

But, as the puzzle continues to come together, it becomes apparent that there are pieces missing. And we begin searching for them. Now remember, we don't even know what our final picture looks like! Can you imagine how impossible that would be? Over the course of our lives, we find more and more pieces to add to the puzzle. Some have fit easily together. Other, we have pushed and prodded to fit into place. After all, we "know" how it's supposed to look. And as those pieces go together, we realize that perhaps the picture is going to turn put differently than we had imagined. But, we still can't visualize the end result. And that's where God comes in.

Our Heavenly Father is the Master Builder. He is able to see how each piece of my puzzle fits together. Not only that, God is simultaneously putting together not only my puzzle, but every other person's puzzle as well. And the puzzles that he has created fit perfectly and intricately together. They create a beautiful masterpiece that is beyond anything we can imagine, one that we will only be able to full view when we cross that bridge into heaven. 

In the meantime, our Loving Creator reminds me that I don't need to see the whole picture. It isn't my job to try to put the puzzle together on my own. He asks that I trust Him to place the pieces of my puzzle in my hand. God gently guides those pieces to the right position when I allow Him to do so. By relying on Him to direct my life, I hold the answers to successfully completing my puzzle. And on this Thankful Thursday, I am eternally grateful that His way is perfect and that my life is in His hands.

Thankful!

Well, another Thursday is almost gone. But, I am quite earnest in my desire to get back to blogging again. I couldn't let the day end without sharing a few things I am thankful for today.

- God is truly good! My step-son James posted a quote on his FB page yesterday that went something like this, "Sometimes, the worst times in our lives are what bring us to the best times in our lives." What a wonderful for those moments when you wonder how you can keep going. I've posted before about how God has created beauty from ashes in my life. He's got a LOT of work left to do in me, no doubt. But, His plans are to bless us in ways beyond anything we could imagine.

- Our church has a secret prayer sister program. We commit to praying for our "sister" and can do little things to encourage them throughout the year. I received a sweet card from my prayer sister today that said, "The moments of your day and the needs of your heart are in His hands." Such a comforting reminder of God's presence even in those mundane moments. And what reassurance to realize that He cradles my needs, my wants, my longings, my sorrows, everything about me gently in the palm of His hand.

- This winter has been relentless. It seems like there has been no reprieve, either frigid or snowing. I'm thankful that the days are getting longer and there is an end in sight (at least, I hope so). Looking forward to spring!

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An awww moment!

This afternoon, Matthew asked me to read him the book, "I love you forever." I can never make it through that without getting teary. If you're not familiar with the book, it's about a mom who sings to her son over the years about loving him forever, liking him always, and that he will always be her baby. At the end, the mom is old and sick. She calls her son and tells him to come visit. When he arrives, she tries singing the song, but can't finish it because she is old and sick. The son picks up his mom, rocks her, and sings the song back to her, telling her that she will always be his mommy. He then goes home and sings the song to his new baby daughter.

Matthews told me that when I get old, I need to call him. He will come to my house, pick me up, rock me, and sing the song. He also told me that he will not live across town (like the son in the story), he will live right next door. Oh, sweet boy! This mom was in tears!