Trusting His Promise

Quick thanks!!

2012-01-27T08:03:00.000-06:00

I LOVED seeing the comments I received yesterday and hearing what you are thankful for!! This is the first time I've had any response when I asked so it absolutely made my day!!

Hansina - Yes, He is an amazing God! And from what I know of your family, they are pretty amazing, too!!

Foley family - We were thrilled to meet you last week! It was fun to visit and we can't wait to hear more about your journey! I love the way God has brought people into our lives that we probably wouldn't have met if it wasn't for our two sweet kiddos.

Carolyn - I am praying for your family and the study that your boys are in. So glad that you are seeing benefits from it!!

Happy Friday everyone! I can't wait until next week to see what you're thankful for!

Thankful Thursday

2012-01-26T08:05:00.000-06:00

Although I am making a conscious choice to be thankful every day, today is my day to make note of the things that I am thankful for. So here's my picks for this Thursday.

Oliver - my new kitty is fitting in well to our household. He spent the last two days at the vet (getting declawed) and came home yesterday. Even though he is uncomfortable, his personality remains sweet and loving. He continues to be tolerant of the kids (who are trying to be very careful of the "owies") and crawled up to cuddle with me as I was having my devotional time this morning.
My wonderful hubby who tolerates my love for cats and allows me to have them in the house - in spite of having allergies to them. There are so many reasons I love Mark, but today that's at the top of my list!
Oh... that reminds me of another reason I love my hubby and am thankful for him. We were discussing a political candidate the other day and I asked Mark what he thought of this person. He told me that he was not in favor of this individual because of the candidate's lack of respect for the sanctity of marriage. God has truly blessed me with this husband who takes his commitment to our vows seriously!
A job that I enjoy and where I can make a difference in the lives of the elderly. This has been my dream since I was a young girl. I didn't know how I was going to work with our aging population, but I knew that was where God was calling me.
I serve a heavenly Father who is constant, unchanging, ever-faithful, forgiving, and loving. When life seems chaotic and out of control, I can count on the fact that He is steadfast.

What are you thankful for today? I would love to hear!!

Adding to the family

2012-01-22T19:46:00.001-06:00

Got your attention, didn't I?? Well, it's not nearly as exciting as it sounds. But, we are trying to add a kitty again. I'm optimistic that this cute guy may be a better fit. He's an adorable 8 month old Maine Coon. Meet Oliver Sheldon Kittycat (I know... poor guy). And yep - the Sheldon is for Sheldon Co*per of one of my favorite shows B*g Bang Theory. For any of you die-hard fans out there, he does look a little like "Zazzles" - one of Sheldon's cats, but somehow, Oliver seems to fit a whole lot better. He just isn't that "zazzly" - lol! However, he IS a love bug and is very tolerant of the kiddos' joy in having him home.

Thankful Thursday

2012-01-19T20:56:00.000-06:00

Yep - be impressed! Two thankful Thursdays in a row. God has blessed us with so much and I really want to more thoughtful about maintaining an attitude of gratitide.

"Date" night - last night, Mark and I were able to attend a dinner/presentation sponsored by one of the local churches. The topic was how men and women communicate differently and gave some tips for how we can improve our relationships by honoring those differences. Mark says it wasn't really a date, but since we were out of the house without the kids - I think it counts!
My friend Del - she was kind enough to watch the kids for us last night. They were excited to see her and loved spending time together.
Meeting new friends - a couple came up to us after dinner last night and introduced themselves. The Foleys had seen our blog and recognized us. They are just beginning the process to bring home a sweetie from Ethiopia. Although we didn't get to visit as long as I would have liked, it was fun to meet them. I love how God is connecting us with other adoptive families.
Provision - God is slowly changing my attitude. I am seeing that provision doesn't necessarily mean I will get everything I want. But, God definitely provides me with everything I need. His provision is more than enough!!

Thank you and clarification

2012-01-16T12:11:00.000-06:00

First, let me say thanks to everyone who has written such kind comments in response to my recent post. It helps to know that there are people out there who understand where I'm coming from. Which brings me to my clarification.

Children all need love, nurturing, discipline, boundaries, etc. Doesn't matter whether they were born in a parent's heart or birthed by that parent. What is different for us (and other families who have adopted children from foster care, orphanages, institutions) is that some of those traditional parenting techniques don't work. Children who are raised in a healthy, nurturing environment develop those bonds of love and trust with their parents from day 1. "Typical" parenting methods are more likely to be successful with them. While our kids are doing amazing, we do see some behaviors which can be attributed to their pre-adoption lives. And this is where Mark and I are trying to learn how to parent them effectively - giving them the attention, affection, love, nurturing, etc. that they need while not allowing them to control the household. It is exhausting at times. At this point, I'm still trying to decide how much of this part of our journey to share publicly. If there are others out there who can benefit from what we're learning, that would be wonderful! On the other hand, I also want to respect the privacy of my children.

Anyway to clarify - I don't love my children any less because I didn't give birth to them, but I do have to parent them based on their past experiences and needs. And I will continue to give my all to help them be their very best!!

BTW - Jes, we saw Mad*gascar. :-)

Another first

2012-01-15T19:10:00.000-06:00

Matthew's pre-school is taking a field trip to the movies this week. We decided that we should probably make the trip with him first so that he would know what to expect. So yesterday, the four of us went to the movies. One of the local movie theaters has a free Saturday morning matinee which is usually a movie which came out several years ago. I figured that if we had to leave for any reason, then we wouldn't be out the cost of the show - which if you've been to the movies lately you know isn't cheap.
Matthew loved the show and loved the candy which daddy shared with him. Maia loved the popcorn that she and I shared. And she really did pretty well - not getting bored until about 15 minutes before the end. I guess it's safe to say that I worried for nothing. But since I have to work on the day of Matthew's field trip, I'm glad that I got to be there for his first movie!!

And a little funny from him... we went to one of our favorite restaurants for lunch after the movie. I was praising Matthew for how well he had eaten (we are finallly starting to see a little progress in this area) and he looked at me with this big self-assured grin and said "I know!" The couple sitting at the table next to us almost fell off their chairs laughing and so did I.

"You asked for this"

2012-01-14T21:49:00.000-06:00

That's a comment I have heard a couple of times since we have been home. It's been made after people have asked me how things are going and I reply truthfully, "Well, I don't go anyplace quickly anymore and grocery shopping with two kids is a challenge" or "It's wild times at our house" or something along those lines. My response is not meant to elicit sympathy from the other person. It IS an acknowledgement of how much our life has changed in the past 13 months.

Some of the change is no different than any new parent experiences. Sleep deprivation, redefining our relationship as husband and wife to now include momma and daddy, wishing we had more time for each other (our friends, our hobbies, etc.), trying to juggle work and other comitments with family time. All of those adjustments come with the territory.

Yes, we managed to bypass the every two hour feedings, colic, all the newborn stuff. And there are definitely moments when I am every so grateful for that. In exchange, we parent one child who had never known life outside of an orphange (so had no concept of what a family even was) and another child who spent the first half of life in a "family" environment that no child should ever have to experience before spending the second half of pre-adoption life in the orphanage.

Consider how important those first few years of life are for a child - the nurturing, love, bonding that takes place with their parents, the stimulation and normal developmental tasks that go along with what we consider "typical" childhood. Orphanage and institution childhood is not typical.

Our kids came home without those essential pieces of the puzzle. That may seem surprising because things appear so "normal." Our parenting methods may seem contradictory to how one would parent the child they gave birth to. It is because we are not parenting children we gave birth to. Our methods need to be a little different. And yes, we are still learning and we are FAR from perfect (well, I guess I should say I am and not speak for Mark - lol!). But are kids are also learning...what it means to be part of a family, how to give and receive love, to treat others with kindness, to just be kids!!

So when I am asked how things are going and I don't say, "PERFECT!" or I seem exhausted or overwhelmed, I'm not trying to play the martyr or make anyone feel sorry for me. I just hope for a little understanding and empathy as I figure out this parenthood stuff. For those who say "You asked for this" - you are absolutely correct! Mark and I did ask for "this" and we would ask for "this" again without hesitation. God chose us to be Matthew and Maia's parents and we are blessed by these gifts from Him!!

Thankful Thursday

2012-01-12T20:31:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since I have written a thankful Thursday post. Part of me doesn't really feel like it. My heart is heavy tonight, heavy with losses - not ones that affect me personally per se. One of my co-workers' father passed away unexpectedly early this morning. One of my father-in-law's close friends died unexpectedly of a heart attack today. One of Mark's former co-workers lost his 13 year old daughter to a brain tumor this past week. A couple of my favorite patients have died in the last two weeks. My heart aches for all who are affected by the loss of loved ones.
And yet in spite of this heaviness, I am reminded that God asks us to thank Him "in all things." That doesn't mean to thank Him for only the good things in our lives, only the happy moments. It doesn't mean to thank Him when we feel like it. It means we should thank Him at all times, even when we are in the midst of grief. God is present even in life's toughest moments. And we can be thankful that He never leaves us. His promises are perfect! And His plan is perfect!! Someday, we will be able to see the bigger picture and say, "Ok... I get it now, God." But in the meantime, we have to trust that He knows what He is doing - a whole lot better than we do.
So, I am making a conscious choice to be thankful. What am I thankful for??

Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that I am thankful for all of the families who are in the process of adopting. Especially those that are bringing home their kiddos from Ukraine (only because a piece of my heart is there).
I am thankful for safety. Winter finally decided to show it's face and the roads coming home from work yesterday as well as going to/from work today were not pleasant. Thanks to God for keeping me safe as I drive.
Health... Our household has pretty much had every variation of the respiratory bug possible this season. Over the past couple months, I don't think we have went more than a few days without at least one of us being sick. Maia has got conjunctivitis right now (poor girl). And yet in the scheme of things, we are all generally healthy. Colds are pretty minor issues compared to what some people endure.
God - I am thankful that He wants a relationship with me (and each one of you). That the more I seek Him out, the more closely He draws me to Him. I am so imperfect and I fail miserably in many areas of my life. Yet I have a God who forgives my shortcomings and who claims me as His child! A God who willingly gave His son so that I might have eternal life. A God whose love is unconditional and unfailing. I am blessed beyond measure!

Down Syndrome Awareness

2012-01-07T20:36:00.000-06:00

Check out this video - I hope it touches your heart like it touched mine!!

Missing Ukraine?

2012-01-07T20:13:00.000-06:00

When we left Ukraine with Maia, I said I would never go back. Travelling to a foreign country and staying in a city where no one except our wonderful Olga spoke English was extremely difficult. We met 2-3 individuals who knew a few words of English, but that was it. I remember how isolated and vulnerable I felt. I was so happy to be going home. Arriving back in the States, I seriously think I could have kissed people who spoke in my language.
Six months later, we were back in Ukraine and it was so much easier the second time around. We knew the routine, what to expect, where to go. Plus we had the added benefit of the Allens and Mikschls sharing our adoption journey. Seeing Vitaly, Alex, Olga and others we had met during Maia's adoption again was a little like coming home. Although the weather was warmer than I would choose, I actually enjoyed our second trip to Ukraine. And leaving Sevastopol after Matthew's adoption was bittersweet. Again, I was looking forward to being in familiar surroundings and seeing family/friends. But, saying good-bye to our dear friends was sad - knowing that the likelihood of us seeing them again here on earth is unlikely.
Over the past six months, there have been moments when I have truly longed for the Ukraine. Some of that is related to the different pace that we were able to lead there. Our life was a lot simpler. While there was stress, it was not the same stress we have here at home. I've longed to see the friends that we met during our trips. Right now, I am in contact with two families that are in the process of bringing home their little ones from Ukraine and I have to say that I am a bit envious. So since I can't go back (at least not any time soon), come with me on a walk down memory lane. I'll share some pictures you've seen before as well as some ones that are new to the blog. I can't wait to reminsce about a few of those wonderful days.

Our third night in Kyiv - having dinner with the Birschbaughs and Hannons. How cool is it that we all returned to Ukraine on a second trip to bring home more kiddos? I just love how God works!

The cathedral next door to the SDA

Shops outside the SDA

Our first official visit with Maia

Sevastopol

Khersonnes - Greek ruins

The Khan's palace in Bakhchisarai

Russian Orthodox church on Christmas Eve day 2010

Olga looking out at the Black Sea - Christmas Eve Day 2010

Black Sea - Christmas Eve Day 2010

Detsky Dom Christmas Day 2010

Celebrating Gotcha Day with Olga and Vitaly

Farewell to Ukraine (well, that's what we thought at the time)

And back again, finally that sweet boy is in my arms!!

Lunch on the deck of our apartment in Sevastopol

The Allens, Mickschls, and us - enjoying dinner before the Allens head home with their Annie.

Maia, Matthew, Dasha (a cute little girl who was adopted by a Ukrainian couple about two years ago - they were adopting a little boy and visited him every day at about the same time we were there. She loved Matthew - can't say I blame her!)

Maia - NOT enjoying the ride at an indoor amusement park

Beautiful tree at Alupinsky castle and park

Vitaly and me at the Botanical Gardens

Pool at the Botanical Gardens

Matthew's Gotcha Day!!

Absence does make the heart grow fonder. But yes, there are definitely things I don't miss about Ukraine. Crazy driving, lack of air conditioning, and most of all - toilet facilities (or lack thereof)!

Thanks for coming along for the ride.

Happy Birthday sweet girl!

2012-01-02T20:39:00.000-06:00

Today is Maia's birthday! She's had two celebrations - yesterday with Grandmama and Grandpa Jerry.

I sure love my new baby doll!

Today, Matthew and I made Maia a birthday cake.

And we took that over to Nana and Papa's for the second celebration.

Blowing out the candles. I got one the first time and the rest on my second try. Pretty good, huh? I didn't even practice!

Lovin' my cake and ice cream!

Happy birthday to our beautiful Maia! We are so blessed that God chose us to be your forever family! Can't wait to see what the next year has in store for you! You are a beautiful, cherised daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin. We love you so much!!

New Year's Eve 2010 and 2011

2012-01-01T20:52:00.000-06:00

New Year's Eve 2010 was our first day at home with Maia. Here is the difference a year makes.

She's the same and yet so different!!

Then and Now

2011-12-25T21:11:00.000-06:00

These are pics we took last year on Christmas Day at the detsky dom.

I was so happy to have this "forbidden" picture, because I thought that would be the last time I saw Matthew and would only have the memories of our time with him.

And here we are a year later celebrating Christmas with both of our kiddos. So fun!!

I actually am thankful that we didn't have a white Christmas this year. Think they are too???

Matthew was "over the moon" to have a tractor like Grandpa Jerry's!!

365 days and 2011 years - Two gifts from God!

2011-12-25T12:32:00.000-06:00

Three hundred and sixty five days ago (Christmas Day 2011), almost to the minute as I type this, we left the orphanage in Sevastopol with our beautiful daughter. I have to say that it was a little overwhelming to realize that we were now parents and responsible for this child. She has been a blessing in our lives and a Christmas gift from God.

Two thousand and eleven years ago, that same loving heavenly father gave us all the most amazing Christmas gift of all - His only son Jesus. May you be blessed by the love of Christ today and always!

Matthew

2011-12-23T17:21:00.000-06:00

Matthew is doing just fine. He is a little grouchy at times but that is all. His eyes look awful, but the surgery went well. He may be able to ditch the glasses soon.

Mark

Thank you Jane and prayer request for Wednesday

2011-12-20T21:16:00.000-06:00

First, I want to say thank you to one of our blog followers, Jane! Your comment about my last post was so appreciated. Many days, I feel pretty alone in the parenting thing. Most of our friends are long past the toddler stage with their kids and between work and family, I just don't have much time to make new connections with other moms for support and encouragement. Jane, thank you for sharing your day with me and reminding me that I'm not the only one who has days like that.

Next, we just ask for your prayers for Matthew on Wednesday. He will be having eye surgery. We hadn't anticipated this since he'd already had corrective surgery in Ukraine back in January. Although you wouldn't suspect anything if you look at Matthew, he does have some difficulty when he looks up/sideways or down. So, we report to the hospital tomorrow morning at 7:30am. Given how traumatized he was last time we were there, I don't anticipate that he will be happy when he sees where we are going. Please pray for peace for our little guy as well as compassion for all those caring for him, wisdom and discernment for the doctors. And would you include a little prayer for mom's peace as well? :-) Maia will be spending the day with Nana and Papa and she's looking forward to that!

Today we were "those" parents

2011-12-18T21:03:00.000-06:00

You know the ones...

Their kids are running wild. You wonder why they don't keep them under better control. Don't they believe in discipling their children, setting boundaries, teaching them respect? Really, those parents shouldn't take their kids out in public if they can't behave. Don't they realize how disrespectful it is to others?

Yep, I've had those thoughts about other people's kids. But today, it was time to eat my words. Because it was MY kids who were doing the acting up. And I just could not seem to get a handle on them.

Our Sunday school Christmas program was today. Maia wasn't feeling great (another cold) so she was cranky. When she doesn't feel good, she likes to just lie down on the floor. So, that's what she did. Took off her shoes and laid down by the Christmas tree in the front of the church. Matthew? Well, he could not sit/stand still. He was all over the place, trying to stick his finger in the burning Advent candles, fighting with other kids - oh, it was a beautiful sight! Finally, one of his SS teachers had to pull him onto her lap and hold him there as he argued with her. So nice! I had the absolute WORST headache by the time we left church.

I know that our kids are not going to be perfect. But, I'd prefer not to be the one that everyone is saying "Thank goodness that's not my kid" about. My only consolation? Maia was not the little girl who was standing in front lifting her skirt up and looking through the see-through/tulle part of it while she was singing.

Cookie Monsters

2011-12-16T13:18:00.000-06:00

Last week, I had baked some molasses cookies and they were on a cooling rack on the kitchen table. I left the kids with Mark while I ran an errand. Was gone maybe 30 minutes. Entered the house to find two smiling kids waiting for me at the top of the stairs - cookie crumbs all over their faces. Dad was on the phone in the living room. I asked the kids "Did you eat some cookies?" All innocence, they shook their heads "no." Mark hung up the phone and went into the kitchen (I was still in the entry). He asked, "How many cookies were on the table?" I answered "At least a dozen - how many are there now?" Any guesses what the answer was?

ZERO!

Yep, the kids had been busy. We did find three half-eaten cookies hidden in a toy car. There were some very sugared up kids that evening. They could hardly sit still to eat dinner. And all that molasses? Dad enjoyed the laxative effects the following day. :-)

I was wrong

2011-12-14T13:54:00.000-06:00

I wrote this Dec. 18th 2010 as a comment to one of our blogs.

Mark and Melanie said...

Today it was hard to leave after seeing Maia. When we where leaving we helped Maia take off her coat and boots. All the other kids in her group were coming in from outside at the same time. Some of them wanted us to help take off their coat and boots too. They waited for one to get the coat off and when they left to put it away the next one came for help. They were all smiles when we helped them. At the end Melanie was holding Mathew and he had a great big smile on his face. Melanie did not have such a nice smile, she had tears in her eyes because we can't take him home too. We just don't have the resorces to take care of two kids who need extra attention and medical care to grow up to be their best. This is hard on Melanie, she wants to help these kids so much.

Bad Bloggers

2011-12-14T13:39:00.000-06:00

We have been doing a lot the past few weeks. we need to blog more and keep everyone up to date. So this is an update for you..
It looks like Maia will need some work done on her eye again. The left eye is not staying corrected like we had hoped. Matthew will need the same thing done too. That is the bad news. The good news is Matthew is getting a power wheels tractor for christmas and Maia is getting a kitchen with a stove and microwave. Then they will be getting lots of small gifts too.

mark

Happy Adoption Day!!

2011-12-13T20:10:00.000-06:00

One year ago today, we sat in a court room in Sevastopol asking a very kind woman judge and two "jurors" to approve our petition to adopt a little girl named Anastasia. And our family of two became a family of three. This was the first picture we shared with you of Maia Anastacia Hansen.

It has been such a joy to see our sweet girl grow and blossom over the past year! So many changes... from a child who really didn't like to be held or touched to a little snuggle bug. From saying just a few words to singing the ABCs (ok, she skips a few letters but I don't mind). From being an orphan to having a forever family who treasures her beyond compare!! We love you Miss Maia and are truly blessed to call you our daughter!!! Happy Adoption Day!

Finally back on line and one year ago

2011-12-04T20:57:00.000-06:00

Gosh... we've been without internet access for about three weeks now. It's good to be back online. I'll try to get caught up in the next few days. I may back date a few entries from last month, not sure yet. But, just want to remember for right now.

This is Mark's post from one year ago today. We had been in Sevastopol for a few days already and were getting to know our sweet girl.

Saturday - December 4, 2010

Well we had a good visit today. It was about an hour and 15 minutes. When we saw her she was outside playing with her group, she saw Melanie and came to her for a big hug. We walked and played on the swing, her best toy was a tape mesure Melanie brought to find her size. It was a sewing tape that has a spring loaded retract feature that she loved.

After that we went to the market for a good suply of food for the week.
I understand it is snowing back home, it is about 55 here, neeener neeener neeener.

Mark

And here's a pic from that day.

__________________________________________________________________

What a difference a year makes! Love that sweet girl of ours and am so glad she's home. Although I have to say, I wouldn't mind if the weather was nice enough that we could be dressed the way we were one year ago today - lol!!

sorry

2011-11-30T19:10:00.000-06:00

Our computer went bad. We lost the hard drive and we have not been able to blog for a few weeks. We are back now and will start blogging soon. But today we have lots of things going on.

Mark

Life is fragile...handle with care

2011-11-18T08:08:00.000-06:00

Last night, I attended a visitation for the 12 year old son of one of my former co-workers. He was killed in an ATV accident last weekend. My heart aches for Theresa and her family. Please include them in your prayers.

And when you're frustrated with child, spouse, parent, pet, co-worker, whoever....

Remember that life can change in an instant and you may find yourself wishing for that spilled milk or temper tantrum or messy house. Will those things really matter if that person is gone?

Take a few moments to give that extra hug, say "I love you" or "I'm sorry" or "You are so special to me." Those are the times that we remember.

Every now and then...

2011-11-15T22:05:00.002-06:00

God reminds me.

He speaks softly and gently reminding me of the first time that I saw Matthew (remember my first blog post about him?), how he touched my heart immediately.

He reminds me of the prayers I sent heavenward for that sweet boy, while we were in Ukraine and after we returned home.

He reminds me of the tears that I cried leaving the orphanage with Maia and wishing that I could bring Matthew with us.

He reminds me of the tears I cried in the first few months back home, feeling that I had left a part of my heart in Sevastopol.

He reminds me of the miracles that He worked to bring our son home, that He softened Mark's heart and filled it with willingness to add another child to our family (I was so happy to be sharing that post with you!).

God reminds me that this was His plan since the beginning of time, that He is the creator of families and He most certainly is the reason for our family (Remember this post?).

Then I forget the difficult moments and remember...

And I am humbled at His goodness in allowing me to parent these beautiful children of mine.

Catching Up

2011-11-13T21:01:00.000-06:00

I've been meaning to get caught up on what's happening here by back dating some posts, but it's not happening so I'm going to put the past week into this post and be up to date.

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to attend the Hearts at Home conference here in Rochester. This is a Christian conference for moms. My sweet husband watched the kids so I could go both Friday night and Saturday. The speakers were great and the chance to spend time in fellowship with others was a wonderful blessing. My dear friend Del went with me and it was also a gift to be with her! Thanks to Mark's cousin Janelle for telling me about the conference and allowing me to register as part of her group!

On Tuesday, Matthew had his first dentist appointment. We explained what was going to happen in advance and Matthew practiced opening his mouth. He did wonderful!!! Here he is getting his teeth cleaned. The hygenist said that she had kids twice his age who aren't as cooperative.

The dentist was great with Matthew and gave us good news. No cavities, no bite problems. Matthew's teeth are perfectly spaced to allow for good alignment when his permanent teeth come in. He'll be seen in six months for a routing cleaning and check-up. YAY!! A perfect report!!

Work is keeping me busy. The workload itself has been steady lately and I am precepting a nurse practitioner student. Given that I'm a novice myself, it's a little bit daunting. But hopefully, she will learn a few things while she's working with me.

Yesterday, we attended an Adoption Celebration which is hosted by the agency that we started with when we were planning for a domestic adoption. We were the only family who had completed an international adoption so we were a little out of place, but it was fun to see some other families who have succesfully adopted. Given some of the short wait times they have had, it reinforces that God's plan was for us to bring our kiddos home from Ukraine. His plan is perfect!

Today was a sad day for me. We took Otis back to his previous family. There had been two instances when he became aggressive with me when I was cuddled up with the kids and the second time, he was aggressive with Maia also. Nothing happened, but we don't want to take any chances with the kids being bitten. He had also been very dominant with Vivien and she was miserable. Had lost weight and was pretty much living under the bed. So, we are back to being a one cat family (at least for the time being). :-(

And that catches things up. Oh... I almost forgot to share our funny for the day. I wish that we'd had a video camera at church this morning because Maia provided the entertainment. The kids went up front for the children's sermon. Matthew sat down, but Maia decided that she didn't want to. She started to come back to where we were sitting, then decided that she was going back to the front of the church. She was almost there when she changed her mind and went into one of the pews to visit the people sitting there. Since she was being social, Maia continued to go into several different rows of pews to visit. She came back down the aisle towards us just as Mark was going to get her. When she saw him coming, she ran back up front and climbed the steps to the altar and laid down. Everyone was laughing and she was thrilled with being the center of attention. Gotta love that girl. Poor Mark - his face was pretty red as he carried her back to our spot.

November is Adoption Awareness Month

2011-11-01T13:22:00.011-05:00

There is so much in my heart that I would like to share on this topic, but I am running short on time right now. Until I can get that post made, please check out Adeye's blog. She is featuring some amazing adoption stories this month including one of my favorite families - the Pattersons. If you've been following our blog for a while, you may remember me blogging about their daughter Chrissie who is now dancing with Jesus after a courageous battle following heart surgery. Their adoption journey is such a testimony to being faithful to God's calling! Anyway... hope you enjoy reading as much as I am.

Halloween Candy

2011-10-31T20:43:00.001-05:00

The absolute BEST candy ever!!

Matthew and Maia weren't quite sure what to make of this dressing up thing. They both got to wear their costumes to school. I helped out with Matthew's party which was a lot of fun! I'm not sure he cared too much that I was there, but that's ok - lol!!

We took the kids to see Nana and Papa first. They still didn't understand what trick or treating was all about but were happy to see them. But... after the first couple of houses in our neighborhood, they realized they were getting lots of candy and that was pretty good. Then it was, "one more (house) please." We limited it to about six houses because it was getting late. But I'm guessing next year, we may need to plan for a few more. :-)

What we've been up to

2011-10-30T21:27:00.001-05:00

Wearing cuddly new pajamas from Nana

They are great!!

Enjoying time with family - Mark's cousin Bethany hosted a shower for us yesterday. It was wonderful to spend some time together and visit for a while. Schedules make it a challenge to get together as often as we would like so this was a special gift. And the kids were so blessed, I'd say it was as good (or better) than Christmas!!! Jill, Matthew has not went anywhere without his airplane since we have been home. It stayed in the car at church this morning, though.

The kids' cousins have a trampoline at their house and were kind enough to let Matthew and Maia give it a try. Pretty sure it was a hit - lol!!

Daddy was hiding underneath "helping" them jump around.

Truth to the phrase "A picture is worth a thousand words." Maia goes through life at a slow, leisurely pace. Matthew - well, he's moving so fast that he's just a blur! Maybe he should be The Flash or Speedy Gonzales for Halloween.

I forgot to mention that Maia had her first dentist appointment last week. She was not too sure about people looking in her mouth and a little apprehensive about leaning back in the chair, but she made it through and had a good report. No bite problems, no cavities. She'll go back in six months and we may try cleaning her teeth at that time.

Today, we had a full day! Sunday school and church this morning. After the service was over, the kids got to attend a fall festival while Mark and I attended a parenting session sponsored by our church's Health and Wellness Committee. We both felt like we were given some good information. Ran home for a quick change of clothes and headed out to the farm where Mark keeps his airplane (and other toys). Met my parents there so that Mark and my dad could pull a snow plow blade off an old truck. The kids enjoyed running around and Matthew was so excited to see Grandpa Jerry. Ran a couple of errands, stopped for dinner, and came home. The kids were exhausted so hopefully, they will sleep well tonight.

A little funny for the day... the kids have been learning that it's polite to say "excuse me" after certain bodily functions. Yesterday, we were in the car and drove over some rumble strips. Maia and Matthew looked at each other, started giggling, and Maia said "PARDON ME!!"

And ten months ago today (at about 1AM on December 30, 2010), we walked in the front door of our house with our daughter. In some ways, it seems such a short time ago and in other ways, it feels like she's always been here. Can't imagine life without that sweet girl!! God gave us such a blessing in Miss Maia!!

Thankful Thursday

2011-10-27T20:18:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I forget. The stress of daily life can be overwhelming at times. Parenting two children with special needs is often exhausting, mentally and physically (yes... I know - parenting children in general is exhausting). Add a demanding job, worry about finances, a messy house, all those things that we deal with every day and it's easy to get bogged down in that. Tonight, I am making a conscious choice to be thankful.

Thankful that even though I am feeling rotten, it's just a cold. I will get over it. Compared to a life-threatening or chronic illness, I have nothing to complain about.
Thankful that my sweet husband told me that he would put the kids to bed tonight so I could go out and sit in the hot tub, relax, and then climb into bed myself. Not every parent has someone to share the responsibilities with.
Thankful that I have a job caring for a precious group of people, the elderly. And that this job is stable and offers us excellent health care for the entire family. What a blessing that is!
Thankful that there are two adorable kiddos who greet me with squeals of joy when I get home at night. Kids that are learning what love and a family are all about, kids that God has given me the privilege of parenting.
Thankful that I have a God who reveals Himself to me when I stop long enough to seek Him. I sat outside tonight looking at the stars and prayed that God might show me a shooting star. I closed my eyes for a few minutes and opened them to see a one right in front of me!! How cool is that and what a reminder of God's presence. I am thankful that He reminds me to slow down and BE thankful!!

Bad Daddy

2011-10-25T08:02:00.000-05:00

Last weekend we came home from something and Maia as always saw our house and said "THERE IT IS"
and then BAD DAD drove past the house. Maia didn't like that and started to cry. I just drove around the block as Melanie tried to tell Maia it was ok.

Mark

PS. on a side note. Last March when I filled up the hot tub we found I did a poor job of getting it set for winter when we went to get Maia. Yep it froze and cracked a pipe. Well it was a little more than a pipe, it was a manifold. I just got it fixed and we used it for the first time last night.

Next time I will pay to have it done by the pros.

Mini vaca

2011-10-20T21:25:00.001-05:00

Well, it wasn't really a vaca, but I took a few days off work. On Monday, Matthew had Early Childhood screening at school and I wanted to be there for that. He did well, passed in every area except speech which is not surprising given that he's only been home a little less than three months. The speech therapist who did the screening works with Maia. She will rescreen Matthew in the future, but she didn't seem too concerned with the results she got. That's great news!
Since I was home, Mark took advantage of the time to go back to the cabin and fix the roof on the shed. 60mph winds had ripped off the tar paper that was waiting for shingles (or something). Anyway... Tuesday, he took our nephew Gavin and his friend Tim along to help out. Maia and I had lunch with my friend Del and after Matthew was done with school, went to visit my cousin Marge and celebrate our birthdays.
The kids were both off school yesterday so we had a lazy day. Up late, brunch, made some cookies as a thank-you to our neighbor John who took the awesome pics you see below (and our family pic above), then headed to the park. Mark got home late afternoon. My parents came down last night and took us out for dinner for my birthday (thanks mom and dad!). Matthew was soooo excited to see Grandpa Jerry!!
It was wonderful to have a a little break and just enjoy time with the kids. Kind of hard to go back to work today. Mark and the kids came to have lunch with me which was a nice surprise. And that sweet hubby of mine asked people to send me email birthday wishes so that was fun, too. He made a fabulous dinner - ribs, baked potatoes, and broccoli/cauliflower - yummy!! Oh... I forgot one of the best parts - I got out of the car and Mark and the kids were at the window, waiting to sing happy birthday to me - what a great present! How blessed I am!!!!

Weekend at the Cabin

2011-10-17T21:32:00.000-05:00

Several years ago, we purchased some land in northern Minnesota. Our cabin is NOT what many people think of as a "cabin" - you know... the second home, all the amenities, etc. We bought this land thinking about the future - possibly building our retirement home there. But right now, it's pretty primitive. No running water (yes, that also means that we have an outhouse), electricity by generator, no tv, no internet. We've had big dreams for everything we want to accomplish, but life has been a little busy lately - lol! Last summer, I didn't make it to the cabin at all. Mark went once. We didn't make it at all this year before bringing Matthew home, but Mark has been able to go a few times since we've been back.
Finally over the weekend, we were able to go as a family. The first time for the kids. They loved it. Lots of space to run around and play. Treasured time together. What a blessing. Here's a few pics from the trip.

Our property is heavily wooded. This is a picture of the ground - yes, those are all trees!!!

A giggle for your Monday

2011-10-17T16:22:00.000-05:00

Ok, here's my first "kids say the funniest things" story. We're driving down the road and all of a sudden, there is an odor from a farm that we passed.

Mom: "EEEWWW. Something stinks."
Kids start smelling and making faces.
Mom: "Wow, it smells like someone pooped their pants."
Matthew: "Mom, Maia."
Mom: "No, Matthew - Maia did not poop her pants."
Matthew sticks his hand down the back of his pants, pulls it out, and says, "NO POOP MOM!!"

Oh my goodness, Mark and I couldn't stop laughing! Yeah... we've been working on keeping fingers out of butts even before this happened.

365 days ago

2011-10-12T08:13:00.000-05:00

One year ago today, our dossier arrived in Ukraine. Oh, I remember the anticipation of that time. The waiting was so difficult. Praying for Maia every day, that God would prepare her to become part of our family. That He would prepare Mark and me to be her parents, that He would go before us and smooth every path. And He definitely did!!!

God knew!

2011-10-11T21:15:00.000-05:00

Although there is no doubt in my mind that God chose Matthew to be our son (I only have to think back over the past ten months to see His hand at work in Matthew’s adoption), I would like to share a story with you that gives further confirmation of His divine plan.

I received an email in the middle of August from a woman named Michelle. She introduced herself by saying that we didn’t know each other, but she felt “compelled to send” us an email. Michelle had been on an international flight in early July and met a woman who was bringing home her daughter (adopted through Reece’s Rainbow). A while later, she was on the RR website, checking out the “Already Home” page to see if she could find this family when she came across Matthew’s picture and our story. Michelle told me that she began to cry.

Now why would that cause such an emotional reaction?? Well, Michelle and her husband Bob had recently returned from Ukraine. They had met with the SDA on June 1 and received information about 2 little boys who were available for adoption. As the SDA told Michelle and Bob about the children, they mentioned that 7 other families had visited and rejected one of these little boys because of his medical diagnosis. Michelle and Bob chose to accept the referral and visit the child who had been rejected so many times. As they visited him, they struggled with what to do. Should they go visit the other little boy they had received information about? Were they going to be the 8th family to reject the child they were visiting? As Michelle and Bob prayed, they came to the conclusion that they could not leave this precious child in the circumstances that he was currently living in so they proceeded with his adoption. But, Michelle wondered about the other little boy’s profile. She asked God for confirmation that they had made the right decision.

Yes, God gave Michelle that assurance that she asked for. Matthew was the other little boy whose profile that she and Bob had been given during their SDA appointment!

Michelle’s email was a wonderful gift to us as well, confirming how perfect God’s plan is. When we received our referral for Matthew, we were also told that many other families had refused him. It broke my heart to think about that, but also reassured me that God had chosen Matthew to be our son. Hearing from Michelle reinforced what my heart knew from the first time I picked Matthew up, he was chosen to be part of our forever family.

Thank you Michelle for contacting me and giving me permission to share your story!

Weekend pics

2011-10-09T20:18:00.000-05:00

We had a nice weekend. Mark was feeling pretty rotten - he and the kids have been fighting colds and I think are on round 2. Mark's had the worst of it. So far... I've managed to avoid the crud. In spite of that, I've got some cute pictures to share.

Yes mom, I KNOW how adorable I am!

Actually, I can't take any credit for these next pics. I think we may have an aspiring photographer on our hands. These were taken by Matthew - yes, REALLY!

Our neighbor John is a photographer. He did a photo shoot for us on Saturday afternoon at one of the local historical sites. I brought along my camera and Matthew wanted to take pictures. He did a pretty good job, don't you think??

Today, I braved church by myself again with the kids so Mark could try to recuperate a little bit. The kids love Sunday school. And they did pretty good until just after the sermon - really sitting still for two hours straight is a lot to ask of a three and four year old. This afternoon, we visited some of Mark's friends. I wish I had brought the camera along. The kids got to play with a little white lab puppy and pet a horse for the first time. Matthew even got to sit on a cow. It was a full weekend and Matthew reached his limit. By the time we got home this evening, he was wiped out. Even getting ready for bed was too much for him. So... mom put his pj's on and cuddled up in the recliner.

Precious moments, the first time Matthew has fallen asleep in my arms. (Maia? Nope, not yet.)

Matthew and Maia were asleep by 7pm. They will probably both be awake at 4:30am - just like this morning. Even though they went back to bed, I'm not sure either of them made it back to sleep. Ah, well.

Ice cream on my nose

2011-10-08T20:57:00.000-05:00

Dad was giving me some ice cream, but then he put it on my nose.
BAD DADDY

Thankful Thursday

2011-10-06T20:37:00.000-05:00

One year ago today, our dossier arrived in California on it's way to Ukraine. Oh... the anticipation of knowing that we were that much closer to our child. I am so thankful that God has walked with us each step of the journey. Blessing us with our beautiful daughter. Can you imagine how He must have grinned when we met Matthew for the first time? Knowing that we were going to be that adorable boy's parents? Knowing what my heart instinctively told me the first time I held him? That I was going to be Matthew's mama. I am thankful beyond measure for His perfect plan for my life and for the treasures He has given me!

And speaking of one of those treasures... for the first time tonight, Maia said "I love you" - in Miss Maia language of course. What a precious moment that was!

It took two months

2011-10-02T18:19:00.000-05:00

Well Matthews room is almost done. It took a long time to do because I could not work on it as often as I wanted to. It didn't take a lot of man hours, but it took a long time because I had other things to do as well. So Matthew spent his first night in his room last night. It still needs molding around the door and the new electric outlets hooked up. He was very happy to say Dima's room no Maia.

Mark

Nine months

2011-09-30T20:53:00.000-05:00

That is 3/4 of a year, approximately 270 days. 6,574 hours. 391,462 minutes. 23,667,694 seconds that Miss Maia has been home with her forever family. Although not every moment has been hugs and giggles, this sweet girl is loved beyond compare by her daddy and mommy as well as other family and friends. Yes I am a "little" bit biased, but God has truly blessed us by allowing us to be Maia's parents. It is a gift and responsibility that we do not take for granted. She has a smile and personality that bring joy to those around her. She wakes up happy every morning and has become such a little love bug! Watching Maia grow and blossom over the past nine months has been a privilege. I trust that God has a special plan for our Ukrainian treasure and I look forward to seeing it develop.

Saying good-bye to Olga in Kyiv on 12/30

9 months home with my forever family!

Birthday wishes and pajama day!

2011-09-27T10:27:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday Nana from your Ukraine cuties!! We love you very much!

It's homecoming week here and today is Pajama Day so Maia got to wear PJ's to school. How fun is that! I'd love to wear PJs to work - lol!!

Waiting for the bus in my PJs

Weekend pics

2011-09-26T20:58:00.000-05:00

Mark was busy at our cabin over the weekend putting up a shed so the kids and I hung out at home. We had a good time. On Sunday, I braved church with them by myself and it didn't go too bad. We were invited to an outing at our local pumpkin patch in the afternoon which was sponsored by Thriv*nt and I took the kids to that. Here are a few (ok quite a few) fun pictures from our day.

Driving the tractor

Climbing up on the BIG 4-wheeler (he is about 6 feet off the ground)

Driving the BIG 4-wheeler

Climbing the tractor tire fort

More tractor driving

Mom, those chickens are sure noisy!

Checking out the fire station

In Jail

Crawling up on the "dinosaur"

Big trikes are a lot of fun!!

Whose duck is fastest?

This climbing wall is about 8 feet high. Maia climbed up it all by herself! I didn't want to take a pic of her climbing while I was "spotting" her. She did wonderful!!

my productive weekend

2011-09-26T15:26:00.000-05:00

This is what I did this weekend.

two others and myself put this up on Saturday and Sunday.
The shed is 16' x 16' and the carport is 8'

mark

Two Months Update

2011-09-23T21:42:00.001-05:00

Can you believe that we have been home for two months already? Just like with Maia... in some ways, it seems like much longer and in some ways, it seems like it has not been that long. So, I figured it's time for an update on Matthew.
We've been pretty busy since getting home. Matthew has had his fair share of doctor appointments. On Tuesday, we had a follow up appointment with the urologist. Unfortunately, surgery was not 100% successful so Matthew is going to require another urology surgery next summer. We have seen some improvement and I asked the surgeon if there was any possibility that his body could still heal the issue completely. He said "no." I wish that I had been brave enough to say "With my God, ALL things are possible!" I am praying for a miracle and total closure of fistula that is diverting urine. The first surgery was so traumatic for Matthew that it is hard to think about another surgery.
He saw the neurologist last week. MRI and skull x-ray are scheduled for next week. These are to obtain some baseline information, not because there are any current concerns. The neurologist did say that we could consider some reshaping of Matthew's plate and skull as a cosmetic issue before he starts kindergarten if we want. I guess we'll see how things go, but I don't anticipate that we will pursue that. As Matthew's hair gets longer, his scar and plate will be less visible. We did get a referral to the brain injury clinic and those appointments are coming up in the next few weeks. I think that will be important so that we can learn more about how the brain injury affects Matthew's behavior, learning, etc. So, that's the medical stuff.
As far as adjustment goes, I think things are going as well as can be expected. Matthew seems to comprehend that we are "his" momma and daddy. And although he is sometimes shy around others, boundaries are still being learned. At the park last week, he was all ready to leave with some other kids who were heading home after playing. There is a lot of testing to see how we will react and how consistent we are. Matthew is learning that it is not ok to say "no" when we ask him to do something. He is somewhat defiant and not afraid to talk back. It's probably good that some of that comes in Russian so we don't understand exactly what he is saying - lol!! He is very impulsive and often acts seeemingly without thought which is a bit scary. My guess is that this may be related to his brain injury.
On the other hand, he is a very sweet boy. He loves cudding up with us, giving hugs and kisses. He notices when others get hurt and responds. He likes to be in the middle of all the action and doesn't want to miss out on anything. I'm starting to see a dimple in the left cheek when he smiles which is adorable. Although he is still pretty moody, I think some of the grief that we noticed after first getting home has improved. He went through a stretch about a week ago when he kept talking about taking a plane back to the detsky dom. His life is so much different than it used to be, I'm sure that there are many times when Matthew longs for the familiarity of the orphanage environment (not to mention that mom and dad have all these rules and expectations for how to act in a family). Today though, he did say "no detsky dom."
Matthew is learning English quickly and seems to be very observant. He picks up on activities well. His pre-school teacher says that he really enjoys chapel. Machinas (cars, four-wheelers, motorcycles, tractors, lawn mowers, etc) are absolutely the best!! Grandpa Jerry's cows and Papa's boats are close competitors, though.
Physically, I don't think he's changed as much as Maia did in her first two months at home. Matthew has grown one inch and gained about 8 oz. Wish I could put some meat on those bones, but he is a very finicky eater. I'm hoping that he will adjust as well as Maia has. On the positive side, he does really love almost any kind of fruit. Now if he would feel that way about proteins...
It's been a wild and crazy two months, but so good to have our boy home!!

Meeting Matthew again - three months ago

Headed home - two months ago

Home two months already!!

Ok... one last comment. Now that I look back on the picture of our first official meeting with Matthew three months ago, I can see a big change in him. Just like the meaning of his name, Matthew is truly a "gift of God" and we are so glad that he is part of our family!!

Matthew-isms

2011-09-20T19:44:00.001-05:00

Matthew is really doing great with English - he seems to comprehend very well. But some of his translations are pretty funny. Here are a few...

Matthew's version             Translation
Ya yee getchew                    I'm gonna get you! - What mom calls when chasing the kids around the yard.
Ick, Ick hans                        Wash your hands
Wotkup                               Wake up!
Geepa                                 Grandpa (as in Geepa Jerry - my dad)

There are others, but now that I have a few minutes to blog - of course, I can't remember them. Figures!! I'll have to share as they come to me. Guess I'll share a couple pics instead.

On our way home from Canada

Isn't that a happy face?? All because mom wanted him to face the camera instead of the back yard.

School Update

2011-09-18T21:52:00.000-05:00

The kids completed their first "full" week of pre-school. Maia had two days the previous week and four regularly schedule days last week. After the first day, she took to the bus like a pro! She absolutely loves riding the bus and actually taught the bus driver and aide the correct "sign" for the word bus. It's wonderful to have her look forward to going to school each day. I can see the difference that speech therapy is making for Maia as well. She is trying some new words which is fun to hear. A humorous side story...there is a little boy with DS who rides Maia's bus. He gets on the bus right before Maia and was crying every day when the bus stopped at our house. Mark asked if we had any toys that he could give the little boy to cheer him up. I stopped at the dollar store and picked up some stickers as well as a small package of plastic dinosaurs, thinking he could give the little boy something every day. The following morning, Mark gave the little boy a dinosaur. He was very happy as the bus left our house. When the bus arrived back at our house to drop Maia off, the aide told Mark that the little boy had liked the dinosaur a lot BUT kept throwing at the aide - lol! So, Mark is limited to handing out stickers. :-)
Matthew had his regularly scheduled three days of pre-school. He also loves going to school, although he is still a little disappointed that he doesn't get to ride the bus. The teacher tells us that he seems to comprehend a great deal of what is said, but isn't talking much in class yet. I think the language barrier makes it a bit difficult to play with the other kids at this point. He's learning words and talks a lot at home, even though we don't always understand what he's saying (in Russian). That might be for the best when he's mad at us - lol! The kids have chapel weekly and Matthew's teacher said he did a wonderful job of sitting quietly and listening during his first chapel. The school day (well... afternoon) goes quickly for Matthew and he usually wishes that he could stay longer.

We're blessed that the kids have great teachers who see their potential and create an environment that makes them excited to go to school every day!

Note to self revised... What are the odds?

2011-09-13T09:04:00.001-05:00

On May 23, 2001, I posted a note to self to keep my fingernails out of my eye. Apparently, I was not quite specific enough in this note. I should have also included keeping other people's fingers out of my eye. Yep... I was back at the emergency eye clinic yesterday after Maia's fingers and my eye collided on Sunday afternoon. Geez!! What is the likelihood of scratching your cornea in the same place within 4 months of each other? I'm sure someone can tell me. Back to steroid and antibiotic eye drops as well as daily ophthalmology appts.

Revised note to self.... Keep ALL foreign objects out of eye!!!

Matthew's First Day of Pre-School

2011-09-12T14:14:00.040-05:00

I have been so excited to go to pre-school. It's been hard watching my sister Maia get on the bus every day, I really wanted to go to school myself. And today was finally the day! Daddy drove me to school and brought me to my classroom. When we first got there, I wasn't too sure about it.

Then, I started checking out all of the neat toys. Maybe it's not so bad after all. There's other kids to play with, bikes to ride during outdoor time, snacks, show and tell. We even get to go to chapel to learn about God (mommy tells me all the time about how it was His perfect plan that created our family)!

When daddy and Maia came back to pick me up, I didn't even want to go home! You can probably tell by the look on my face. Instead, I wanted to show Maia all the neat things at school. It's going to be so much fun to go back tomorrow!!

Yes... mom is still catching up on blogging. So even though she is actually making this post on 9/18/11, she is going to back date it for the correct date which is last Monday.

Vacation

2011-09-10T20:21:00.055-05:00

If you pay any attention to the dates on my post, you may notice that this showed up on 9/15, but is actually dated 9/10. That's because I'm trying to get caught up on the blog while keeping things in chronological order so I am back-dating some posts as I go along. Bear with me, I think I will catch up one of these days - lol!

With as busy as our summer has been, we had been able to travel to Canada (Mark's parents spend summers there). Weren't sure we were going to make it this year since the kids would be starting school right after Labor Day. But since I had a little bit of vacation time left, we decided we would go for a long weekend. I did not realize how much I needed that time away until we arrived. It was wonderful to get away and just relax. Nothing that HAD to be done, no laundry, no errands, just quality family time. I returned to work one week after we got home with Matthew so this is really our first opportunity to spend some time together now that the initial adjustment is over. What a blessing it was! The kids loved spending time with Nana and Papa as you will see in the pictures below. After we returned home, I still had several more days off so was able to see Maia go to school on her first day and spend a little 1:1 time with Matthew. God knew how important it was for me to be able to do those things. I feel like I missed out on a lot by having to return to work so soon. Anyway... enjoy the pics!!

Maia wasn't too sure of sitting down by the water at first, but soon decided it was a fun place to be.

Matthew hanging out.

I snapped this precious photo at just the right time. Don't they look precious? Maia had fallen down and Matthew was helping her up. Within a few seconds of this picture, they were pushing and shoving each other. Yep, typical siblings - lol!

does the paddle boat work?

Playing the organ with Papa

Helping pick up branches, it sure is fun to push the wheelbarrow around!

Making a birdhouse with daddy.

Love that face!!

Driving the boat with Papa was THE BEST!!

First ever smores. Matthew thought they were great. Maia wasn't too impressed so she shared hers with Matthew.

Thanks Nana and Papa for a wonderful time and the opportunity to relax and rejuvenate!

Meet the newest member of our family!

2011-09-09T21:35:00.002-05:00

Yes, we have a new addition to the Hansen household!!

2 years old.

Weighing in around 22 pounds.

Beautiful blue eyes.

A sweet, sweet face.

Oh, so tolerant of excited little ones and the kisses they love to bestow.

Meet Otis "Spunkmeister" Hansen

Thanks so much to Michelle and her family for trusting us with for their precious boy! We (the kids and I) love having another cat around. Vivien (our other kitty) is probably thankful that Otis is occupying the kids so that they leave her alone. Mark... well, he loves me so he tolerates my love for cats! Thanks sweet hubby of mine!

Nice and COLD!!!

2011-09-09T16:15:00.000-05:00

I was working very hard at making Matthew a bedroom when I was called out to the deck. Then my wife shot me with the garden hose. She had the kids in the kiddie pool and they started a water fight. All I want to do is make a bedroom for our son and I get shot with a hose for all my hard work.

Mark

Maia's first day of school

2011-09-08T21:23:00.001-05:00

Maia started pre-school today through Community Education. She's ready to go!

Got her backpack and headed out the front door to wait for the bus.

I can't wait to get on the bus.

Here it comes!

Oh, wait - I changed my mind. I really don't want to get on the bus. No Momma, I am NOT going to climb up the steps. If you want me on that bus, you are going to have to carry me. (It was a tough moment for momma. I was crying and she wanted to cry with me, but knew that if she did then I would be even more scared. Instead, she gave me big hugs and helped me pick out a great window seat. She reminded me that I would be home before lunch time.) And off we went.

I don't know what the big deal was. I had so much fun, I got to finger paint and play with the other kids. I can't wait to go back tomorrow!!

This Morning

2011-09-06T21:21:00.039-05:00

I sat on a rock on a little island on Lake of the Woods Ontario and watched the sun rise. I'm sure I am not the first person to make this analogy nor will I be the last. But, I was reminded the similarities between a sunrise and God's presence in our lives.
I didn't get outside in time to see the beginning of the sunrise. When I sat down, the sun was already lighting up the horizon. The trees were a dark silhouette in the distance. The contrast between the light and the darkness made the little branches and details of the trees significant. As I was admiring the beauty of the scene, I thought about the parallels to my "human-ness." I am so imperfect. There are shadows and areas where God's light doesn't shine in my life.
But, He invades those shadows, He comes into the deep, dark recesses of my soul. He shines where a person can not even imagine that He would reach. And as the sun rose slowly above the trees, it turned white (yes, white) - a bright, pure, intense, perfect light - so symbolic of God and also Christ's perfection. If we allow him to, God will shine that brilliance through us. He can rid us of the shadows, the pain, the despair, the failings that darken our lives. He makes each day a new opportunity, a new chance to live for Him.
Those few moments spent with God, sharing the beauty of nature in the sunrise He created were soothing to my soul. I was (am) thankful for His presence in my life. And I am thankful to my wonderful in-laws for providing the setting as well as my sweet hubby who watched the kids so I could enjoy those moments of peace and solitude.

So glad it's Friday and would you pray for Matthew?

2011-09-02T08:50:00.000-05:00

It's been a kind of rough week. We took Matthew in for his follow up appointment with the urologist on Monday morning. Poor little guy (Matthew, not the surgeon - lol), as soon as I picked him up to set him on the exam table he started crying. Removal of the dressing was traumatic (for all of us), but it was obvious that Matthew was terrified. He screamed the entire time - yes... literally screamed at the top of his lungs. I'm sure everyone in that area of the hospital wondered what was going on. The surgeon said that things looked good and that he would see Matthew again in a few weeks.
Things seemed to be working correctly for a couple of days. But now, we have noticed that his urine is not exiting from the right area. Mark contacted the surgeon and we were told that there is sometimes leakage from the suture sites and it should stop as the holes heal. Even if this was not the case, there is no way they would be able to do further repair for at least three months because right now, it would be like sewing through tissue paper. It's been a few days since Mark talked with the doctor and we are pretty sure that it is not leakage from the suture sites. The thought of another surgery is difficult. If you could see the fear on Matthew's face and hear those cries, it would break your heart. I'm crying now just thinking about what he must have experienced in his life to have this response.
Then on Tuesday, Matthew saw the ophthalmologist. We really had no concerns going in. He seemed to be using both eyes well and seeing clearly. The kid can point out tiny planes in the sky. We expected a routine visit with a "see you once a year" message. But, we didn't get that. Matthew's brain has shut off the function of his left eye. Probably as a result of his head injury. According to the doctor, it is as if this eye is patched. We will begin patching of his right eye (the good one) to see if his brain can be forced to change. Sometimes it works, sometimes the brain is not able to make this adjustment and resume function. I've ordered some fun patches (just like I did for Maia) and we will begin the patching as soon as they arrive.
So... would you send some prayers up for our boy? Specifically,

Resolution of the urinary issues. That Matthew's body will heal all of the incision sites and he will begin urinating from just one location (the correct one!) - the end of his urethra.
As far as the eye is concerned, there are a couple of requests.

First, that Matthew will be able to tolerate the patching without difficulty. We were told that this can be very traumatic in the beginning because it can essentially take sight away from the child. Pray that God will give Matthew understanding and peace of why this is happening.
Second, that Matthew's left eye will begin to function perfectly very quickly and that there will be no need for further intervention after about 6 weeks of patching.

Last night, we went out for dinner which was a nice break. It was hot and miserable outside. When we got home, we walked to the backyard to see if I had any zucchini to pick. Well, one thing led to another and let's just say that a hose got turned on. I don't know if you can tell how wet Matthew is in the picture, but he LOVED getting sprayed! Clothes had to come off right inside the front door to spare the rest of the house.

Maia... hmmm, not so much! She would rather be mom's helper.

Recuperating

2011-08-27T16:26:00.000-05:00

The first few days after surgery, Matthew was on some pretty heavy duty pain medications. He slept quite a bit of the time which was probably good. But now, we can tell Matthew's feeling better. He is ready to be up and running around like usual. However, the surgeon wants him to be sedentary with minimal activity, really only walking. Yeah... try explaining that to a four year old!! The dressing greatly limits the clothes that Matthew can wear so it's not like we can take him places either. Poor kid.
He goes back for a recheck on Monday and the plan is that the urinary stent and dressing will be removed then. I'm not sure exactly what the follow up is after that.
We're sitting out on the deck right now trying to burn up a little bit of energy, yelling at the neighbor dogs (well, the kids are - not me, lol!), drawing with chalk, passing time. Mark is getting ready for the 19th Annual Fly -In at Cherry Grove Airpark near Wanamingo. For those of you who may not know, he has a small ultralight plane that he keeps there. Last summer, we were busy getting ready to bring Maia home and you know what we've been up to this summer... so he has not had any opportunity to fly for quite a while. But, it is a fun day. Small planes fly in, old cars and steam engines are on display, there's music, and good food. Mark spends a lot of time helping get the grounds ready for event and on the day of the fly-in, he is busy with helping park planes, direct traffic, whatever needs to be done. I usually spend the day there as well, but it's not going to happen this year. I may try to take the kids out for a little while and keep Matthew in the stroller. I'll have to see how he's doing in the morning. There's the potential for a lot of activity there and we're finding that he struggles a bit more with sensory overload than Maia does. The excitement just winds him up and it becomes difficult to get him calmed down.
But all-in-all, he's doing pretty well. We've got a few more appointments to get through. Tuesday, Matthew will see the ophthalmologist. The neurosurgeon appt has to be rescheduled since we totally spaced it off (it was 2 days after surgery and we forgot to cancel). We did decide to go ahead with pre-school a couple of half-days for Matthew. It will be good for him to be around kids who he will be in kindergarten with next year, help his English, teach him play, etc. Maia will begin pre-school through the Early Childhood Intervention program. She has come a long way in the time that she's been home, but she is not at the same level as her peers. So, she will benefit from some additional support and assistance.
That's where things are at. I've got a couple of posts running around in my head right now so stay tuned. I've been meaning to blog about "reluctant spouses" for a while now and just want to give my perspective on that for those of you who may be feeling strongly about adoption, but your spouse isn't on board.

Pink Ceiling

2011-08-26T14:19:00.000-05:00

Matthew shot his Tylenol at the ceiling when he didn't want to take it.
How do you get liquid children's tylenol off the sprayed ceiling?

Home

2011-08-23T17:27:00.001-05:00

Just a quick note to let you know that all went today. The surgeon was pretty sure he would not be able to fix everything in one operation. Things were more extensive than he had anticipated. But I think God knew Matthew absolutely needed to have things corrected in one procedure. Dr. Kramer is optimistic that this will be the only surgery needed.

We are home now and getting settled in. Matthew is having a difficult time - he really wants this dressing off NOW so please pray that he can adjust to it because it has to remain in place until next Monday!! It's hard when we don't have the words to explain what has happened and that it will only be temporary. It must be very frightening to all of a sudden wake up with a huge dressing over your private parts and not know why. We have to keep him as quiet as possible until Monday and this is going to be a challenge. Would you also pray that God will just quiet Matthew's body during this time so that he can heal?

Thank you for your prayers!!

Prayers for Matthew

2011-08-22T21:27:00.000-05:00

Please pray for our little guy tomorrow. We will be reporting to the hospital at 8:15am for his surgery. I know that Matthew is in God's hands and I trust the urologist who will be operating. But, my heart still aches for what he will go through. Specifically, would you pray for the following?

Peace and protection for Matthew - he will not fully understand what is happening because of the language barrier. Pray that God will speak to his heart and soothe him in ways that we cannot.
Wisdom, knowledge, empathy, and God's guidance for the hands that are caring for our boy. That God chooses each person to be in the pre-anesthesia unit, OR, and PACU perfectly to meet any needs that Matthew has.
Of course rapid, uneventful recovery for Matthew.
And peace for Mark and me - well, mostly me - lol! Somehow, this seems like a bigger deal than Maia's eye surgery and I'm feeling a little anxious. I have to go back to work on Wednesday and I know Mark will take wonderful care of Matthew, but it's not the same as me being home with him.

We'll try to update as the day goes along.

very busy doing nothing

2011-08-22T16:28:00.000-05:00

As I sit here on our deck watching the kids in the kiddie pool I find that we have been very busy doing nothing. Cleaning up after the kids is a full time job and you can't keep up. Thanks to everyone who gave our kids gifts, they have more stuff to mess up the house than anyone needs. And they can mess it up faster than I can clean. Oh well that makes for very happy kids.

Melanie's friends at work gave her a very nice shower last Sunday so now they have more stuff to keep me cleaning. poor poor me. But I have some happy kids so a big thanks to all who helped make that happen.

Mark

Please help!

2011-08-18T14:10:00.000-05:00

Please click here to read a post about a little girl who desperately needs saving. I am in tears and heartbroken to see the pictures and read her story. Can you help?

Three Weeks

2011-08-14T13:50:00.001-05:00

Not sure if anyone is still out there reading - I know I've been pretty bad about blogging lately, but I think things are starting to settle down a little bit so I can catch up.

Three weeks ago today right about this time, we arrived home (yes... as in walked into our house). In some ways, it seems like only a few days ago. In other ways, it seems like it's been such a long time since we left Kyiv. There are definitely moments when I long for the moments in Ukraine. We were able to enjoy time together without all the day to day stressors that we have here at home. Work and finances were low on the radar screen. I didn't think about laundry or keeping the house clean.

But, it's also good to be home - to sleep in my comfortable bed in a house with central air, drive my own car, go shopping at places where I can read/understand the labels, see friends and family. We (Mark, Maia, and I) are in our familiar environment again. Maia settled in to the old routine quickly. I'm grateful for that. Sometimes, I have to remind myself that things were challenging when we first brought her home, too. Well... I guess they still ARE challenging some days - lol!

Matthew is slowly adjusting. Although I can't tell what he's thinking, I see him struggling to make sense of all these changes in his life. It feels like he is bonding appropriately with us. He seems to need a lot more reassurance than Maia did, but I think that is to be expected given his history. He is curious about everything. We are working on establishing boundaries, but it is going to take some time. Matthew is loving being part of a family, though!

Yesterday, we drove up to my parent's place to check on the cattle, dog, etc. while they are away. When I told Matthew where we were going, he was so excited to be seeing "babushka and dadushka!" And when we got to their house, he ran all over looking for and yelling "Grandpa Jerry." He was pretty disappointed that they weren't home.

So bottom line, we're settling in. I can't speak for Mark, but now that we are home with Matthew, things feel complete to me. I was thrilled when we arrived home with Maia, but a piece was still missing. I can't explain it well, but I felt that way until Mark agreed that we needed to return to Ukraine for our son. It got better as we worked through the process to adopt Matthew. However, I didn't realize how much of a difference it would make until just a few days ago.

Ok... now that I am way off track from the title of today's post, I will just add a few pictures since we have been home.

What's better than a jack-in-the box? A Maia-in-the box!

Meeting of the minds

At Grandma Hansen's party

Thanks for the gummy bears, Aunt Sandy!

Matthew getting some love from Aunt Betsy

Matthew and great-grandma Hansen (I just missed him giving her the sweetest kiss)

Cuddle time with great-grandma

Dreaming of driving my own race car one day!

Life is pretty rough!

100th Birthday

2011-08-07T20:48:00.000-05:00

Aug. 5th was my Grandmothers 100th Birthday. Today (Sunday Aug. 7th) we had a celebration for her on my Uncles farm. This was the farm where she and her husband raised 5 children. My wonderful wife Melanie made a video scrapbook for her. It turned out great. We brought a TV with us that would play a DVD over and over again. We let it play for a few hours.

Maia and Matthew had a great time with all the cousins giving them lots of attention

Mark

Matthew Update

2011-08-06T21:36:00.000-05:00

It's been a busy few days. Mark took Matthew to his Urology appointment on Thursday (thanks Nana for watching Maia during that time!). As anticipated, Matthew will need to have surgery to correct his hypospadias. It will be an outpatient procedure on August 23. He will have some type of dressing and catheter in place for approximately one week.
I received a call from the Pediatrician that afternoon saying that most of Matthew's blood work looked fine, but there were a couple of abnormal values. One of these was his TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone). It is borderline and the pediatrician was concerned that this may be the cause of his small size (he's in the bottom 3% of the growth chart for stature). So on Friday, Mark took Matthew to see an endocrinologist. X-rays were taken of his left wrist which will provide some information about whether his bones are underdeveloped, properly developed, or overly developed for his age. This will help determine if he is on target from a growth perspective and give some guidance about treating the thyroid issue.
Pending appointments include eyes, hearing, and the neurosurgeon - they will be later this month.

Overall, I think he is doing well. Sometimes, I have to remind myself that he has only been home two weeks. It seems longer and my expectations are probably too high. There are moments when I get a reminder of just how far that Maia has come since she's been home, too. This afternoon, I was getting the kiddos ready for a bath. I helped Matthew get his clothes off and he immediately had me lift him in the tub. Then, I helped Maia take her clothes off. She picked up her clothes and took them to the laundry basket because she knows that's what she is supposed to do with them. Now believe me, she doesn't always do that willingly but it was a pretty sweet moment that she did that without being asked or without fussing. Yes... she did get lots of praise for that!

I'll take a few moments soon to write more specifically about how the adjustment is going for each of us. But tonight, we are trying to get a "movie" put together. Mark's grandma is celebrating her 100th birthday tomorrow and we are looking forward to getting together with family to honor her. Mark chose some pictures and I am putting them in a slide show format set to big band music. And on that note, have a wonderful night!

Matthew's first MD appt - didn't expect to hear that!

2011-08-02T21:26:00.000-05:00

Days off go by so quickly... but I guess that is partly my fault since I try to squeeze so much into that short time. Today was no exception.
We had a meeting this morning about preschool for Matthew. We're thinking it may be good for him to attend a few days a week this year to help with socialization and maybe give Mark a little break. Just depends on whether we can afford it or not. Maia will begin ECI (early childhood intervention) preschool this fall as well. She qualifies for this service through the school district and I think it will be really good for her! It is doubtful that Matthew will qualify for ECI. He is much further along developmentally than Maia is and picking up things SOOO quickly - he already has about 20 words of English and is able to count to 5. We will have him tested just to make sure, but I'm confident that he will catch up with his American peers very quickly.
First doctor's appointment this afternoon. We had hoped to have Matthew seen by the same pediatrician as Maia, but she wasn't available in the near future so he saw a different doctor which was fine. She asked if we had any specific concerns and we asked about checking for diabetes. After we first got home, Matthew was urinating very frequently and drinking a lot of fluids. This has improved, but we don't want to overlook anything. So... as the doctor was examining him, she found something that we were completely unaware of. Matthew has hypospadius. What is that? Well, his urethra is not in the normal spot. It is located on the underside of his "thing." This was not mentioned at any time in the information we received and to be honest, I did not feel that I needed to closely examine that part of his anatomy. Would it have made a difference in adopting him? No, but we just did not expect that condition. So now what? Well, he has an appointment to see a urologist on Thursday and will need to have this surgically repaired. Fortunately, Matthew will see the same urologist that Maia sees. He will also see a neurosurgeon because of the titanium plate in his head. This is the same neurosurgeon that Maia sees as well. And guess what? The ophthalmologist will be the same one who performed Maia's eye surgery. God has really answered my prayers because I have been impressed with all of these doctors as they care for Maia. For me, it is also a blessing that they already know us a little because of her.
I was hoping that we wouldn't need much in the way of specialty consultations and referrals for Matthew, but it looks like the next few weeks will be busy. Please be praying for our little guy - based on his response to blood work today, I think this is going to be a a lot more traumatic for him than it was for Maia. After the lab techs finished taking his blood, Matthew scrambled into my arms, crying and begging me to take him out of the room. :-( One thing is for sure, he's got excellent lungs - lol!! Also pray for Mark. Most of this is going to fall on his shoulders because I just can't take time off from work for these appointments.

Seven Months - Then and Now

2011-07-30T20:07:00.000-05:00

Seven months ago today, Miss Maia Anastacia Hansen arrived home. I don't always take time to appreciate how far she has come in that seven months. Yesterday, I was looking at pictures of those first few days. Can you believe this is the same girl??

THEN

NOW

How I love that little girl!!! One of the biggest blessings of our trip to bring Matthew home (besides bringing Matthew home - lol) was the time that I was able to spend with Maia. She has just blossomed over the past six weeks. There are so many changes that I see in her. It's hard to describe, but she seems more relaxed and at ease - as if she is starting to feel secure. Her speech continues to develop, although we are concerned that she may have a speech impairment. We plan on mentioning this at her upcoming doctor's appointment. She is starting to recognize some letters when she sees them and can point them out when asked. She is grasping the concept of quantities/numbers - such as she has 2 cherries and shows this holding up 2 fingers, when she eats one, she will then hold up one finger to indicate that is what she has left. She is doing a great job with helping to set/clear the table at mealtimes. Maia is seeking and giving more affection, as well as showing a little shyness with strangers. And I am amazed at the changes in her intake. We're still struggling with getting her to drink fluids. If she had her way, she would probably drink about 2 ounces of liquid/day. She won't drink anything other than water and milk, under much protest. Before our trip, she was a very fussy eater. Now, she is trying many new things. She is eating cantelope, cherries, grapes, cottage cheese, pizza, stir-fry. We haven't put her on the scale since getting home, but I'm guessing she has gained a few pounds.

While we were in Ukraine, we asked Olga what, if any, feedback the orphanage staff had about how Maia was doing. Olga told us that they did not have one thing they could find fault with and that everyone feels like she is doing very well. It was nice to hear that they were pleased with her progress since being home. Olga also said, "Maia is an American girl now." Yep - seven months home with her forever family!!! Thanks to God for blessing us with her!

When mom's away...

2011-07-29T13:49:00.000-05:00

Kids will play! Daddy says, "I only left them for ONE minute." They got into the ink pad and stampers - lol!! It's a little tough to see, but both sides of their faces were blue and pink. They looked like they had been beating each other up.

Our daughter - the future tattoo artist. I'm pretty sure that's her calling.

Can you tell Matthew is daddy's boy? He loves his "da-yee" soooo much!

After some ice cream at the Amsterdam airport - yummy!

Huge thanks!!

2011-07-26T20:33:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post to say thank you to a couple of dear friends who have fed us well the past two nights. Del brought meatloaf, cheese potatoes, corn, cantelope, and a wonderful chocolate dessert over last night. Oh... and Mark's absolute favorite - spinach dip!! She had dinner with us and stayed to visit for a little while which was so sweet - I really missed her while we were gone.
Tonight, Linda called at 5pm and said, "I suppose already have dinner planned this evening." Well, I didn't have anything figured out so she brought a yummy chicken dinner with mashed potatoes, pasta salad, and fresh fruit. Both kids loved everything which is pretty amazing in itself!
What a blessing, allowing me to spend more time with the kiddos - thank you ladies for all of your love and support (and great food)!

Settling In

2011-07-26T16:20:00.000-05:00

So, we've been home three days now. Overall, I would say that things are going pretty well. Maia and Matthew are acting like typical siblings - love each other one minute and are beating on each other the next. Well, it's probably not quite that bad. Most of the time, they don't pay much attention to each other. But if one of them is getting attention from me, the other immediately has to get in on it. Matthew will be minding his own business and Maia will push or hit him for no reason. We have not seen him retaliate, although we did find healing bite marks on Maia before coming home. It's possible that it came from one of the other kids at the orphanage, but we just don't know. We're keeping a close eye on both of their behavior. Biggest concern at this point is that Matthew seems to have very little awareness of her when he's running around, jumping, crawling. He will often crawl right on top of her, step on her - we are working on building awareness of this. It isn't limited to her, yesterday he ran out the front door not paying any attention to the steps and fell down skinning his arm and forehead pretty good. That type of behavior could be related to his traumatic brain injury, but it could just be that he has never been taught the need for that awareness. I'm not ready to jump to any conclusions at this point. It does put him at increased risk for injuring himself, though.

As I shared before, Matthew is loving his daddy!! When Mark goes outside, Matthew will run to the window to watch him and call to him. Mark has started working on Matthew's bedroom (he is splitting our family room into two smaller rooms - bedroom and office/den) so he is often busy downstairs. Matthew wants to be with his daddy instead of upstairs with Maia and me.

Yes... there are some challenging moments. Learning that mom/dad are the ones in charge and that some behaviors are not acceptable is hard. Matthew's got a good set of lungs and he exercises them several times a day - lol! But, I can see him starting to understand that even after he has "consequences," we talk with him, reassure and love on him. I have no doubt that he will respond positively as this continues.

Sleep is proving to be a little bit of a challenge. The kids are sharing a bedroom right now and Matthew usually wakes up around 4am crying because he has to go to the bathroom. That wakes Maia up and Mark and I are up for the day. Not sure if we should wake him up during the night (around 2am) and take him to the bathroom, then put him back in bed - anyone have any thoughts?

But, all in all - things are as good as we expected. The kids are screaming at each other right now, so I better run and find out what they are up to. ;-)

We are home!!

2011-07-24T21:16:00.000-05:00

Yes, we made it home! No problems with flights. Although we didn't get on the earlier flight in Amsterdam, the five hour layover passed amazingly quickly. It helped that the airport has a children's play area that the kids LOVED! We were so excited to see familiar restaurants - I had spaghetti for breakfast. :-)

Matthew did pretty well on the flights. He had a few difficult moments. We gave him some baby Benadryl at take off from Amsterdam and he slept for about 3 hours. We've tried it before with Maia and it only makes her cranky and doesn't help with sleep. She had several "episodes" and only slept for about 30 minutes. So by the time we landed in Minneapolis, it had been nearly 24 hours since we left our apartment in Kiev. My parents met us at the airport with our car (thanks mom and dad!). Maia didn't sleep on the way home. Matthew fell asleep about 45 minutes before we got there and didn't wake up when we arrived. Mark just carried him in and we put him to bed.

So his first view of "home" was this morning. He checked it all out, I think it was a little overwhelming for him. But there is no question what the BEST thing is - Mark took Matthew outside to show him around. When Matthew saw one of our 4-wheelers, he was in heaven!!! He ran over to it and immediately crawled up on it. Mark took him for a ride and we had one happy boy!! I wish that I'd had the camera for a picture. Mark was happy, too since he was pretty disappointed that Maia was and continues to be afraid of our ATVs.

We had a lazy day, did run a couple of errands. Because we were going to come home during the 10 day wait period, I had planned to buy Matthew some clothes once I knew what size he wore. The few things I did buy before are way too big for him. Poor kid - he only had what we bought in Ukraine (3 shirts, 3 pairs of shorts). So, we ran to the Goodwill to get him something to wear. And the refrigerator was empty so we needed to get some groceries.

Being out and about confirms my earlier feelings that we will have to keep things quieter with Matthew. We just packed Maia up and carried on with our usual routines. She was pretty mellow and tolerated this without much difficulty. Matthew is going to struggle more with the commotion and stimulus of being in busy places. I can tell it is a bit overwhelming and anxiety producing for him. So... if friends and family want to see us, they will probably need to come to our house or we will at least need to plan very low-key activities for a while.

That being said, we think he is doing well. He absolutely LOVES daddy. Mark ran to the hardware store this afternoon and Matthew was pretty upset when he left. Maia has a love-hate relationship with him.Yes, I know - typical sibling behavior! They were both wiped out by the end of the day. Maia was asleep by the time we finished our bedtime prayers and Matthew was asleep in less than five minutes. Hope that continues!!

There's more to share, but I'm ready to join them in dream land. More soon!

Ready to be on our way!

2011-07-22T11:04:00.000-05:00

It's 7pm here. The kids are both asleep (amazingly!). We had taken them out for lunch at the food court in the underground mall, had gelatto which was wonderful, and then went for a long walk. So, they were tired out. But obviously they knew something was different because there were lots of hysterics - especially from Maia tonight. I've got a little bit of packing yet to finish up, but hope to be in bed soon. Igor will be picking us up to take us to the airport at 3:30am so it will be a short night!!
Please pray for safe and peaceful travels for us (and the kids especially) tomorrow. We have a 5 hour layover in Amsterdam and we are hoping to catch an earlier flight. If you would pray that this would be possible, we would be very grateful!
We'll let you know when we are home.

Really???

2011-07-21T13:41:00.000-05:00

Oh, I have to leave you with one funny! Check out the sign that is right inside the door of our apartment.

Thankful Thursday - day 2 in Kyiv

2011-07-21T13:38:00.000-05:00

It was a good day! Matthew is feeling better - no vomiting which Mark was very thankful for. Yesterday, he had lifted Matthew up and was holding him above him when one of the incidents occurred. Yep - right down his front. There have been a couple times where he (Matthew) looked a little queasy, but short-lived. He's still not eating well at all. But, he continues to drink plenty of fluids so that is what's important.

We had a very lazy morning. Igor picked us up at 1pm for our Embassy appointment. We had our brief interview at 2pm. It was much less intense this time. Lasted just a few minutes, then we waited another 10 minutes and heard the words "Congratulations on a successful adoption!" as Matthew's passport with VISA were returned to us. YAY!!

We met the Mickschls there and afterwards, went out for a celebration lunch at Friday's with Igor, Olga, and Vlad. Again, another bittersweet moment. We said our good-byes to Hansina, Morgan, and Makenzie - they will be leaving early tomorrow morning. Please pray for their safe travels home to California. It was such a blessing to share this journey with them! We may/may not see Olga again on Saturday morning so we also said our good-byes to her. She has been wonderful throughout this process and deserves so much thanks for helping us to adopt the two precious treasures who are sound asleep as I type.

Well... here they aren't so sound asleep. Can you see the foot sticking out from under the covers?

It's hard to believe that I may not see all of these wonderful friends again here on earth. But, our hearts are connected in a unique and eternal way. This is outside the registry office where we got the kid's birth certificates. Alex is on the left, Hansina, and Vitaly is on Mark's right.

My thankful Thursday list could go on and on today, but it is late and I'm ready to get some sleep. So, I will leave it at that.

Matthew

2011-07-21T09:10:00.000-05:00

I told Melanie I wanted to do a short blog.

Matthew is doing better

Mark

Back in Kyiv and Matthew's having a tough time

2011-07-20T13:12:00.000-05:00

We left Sevastopol at 3:45am this morning, it was a SHORT night! Vitaly drove us to Simferopol for our flight back to Kyiv. Alex drove Hansina, Morgan, and Mackenzie - as well as Olga. Leaving Sevastopol was very sad for me. I wasn't expecting that and I don't remember feeling that way on our last trip. But, this time my heart knows that I won't be coming back again. Sevastopol is my children's birthplace and when we arrived last month, I felt like a part of me was home. Don't get me wrong - I am much too spoiled to live here, but the time that we have spent in Sevastopol has been precious! The tears came again at the airport saying good-bye to Vitaly (I think he even shed a few) - he has been a good friend as well as driver for us.

We had a short flight to Kyiv - just over an hour. After arriving, we immediately headed to the Embassy to begin our paperwork to obtain Matthew's VISA. Following that, we went to the immigrant clinic for Matthew's medical exam. Then, Igor brought us to our apartment. The afternoon was spent trying to keep cool and get some water and a few groceries. We're all pretty wiped out from the long day.

Which brings me to Matthew. He is having a difficult time. Vomited twice, once at his medical exam and then, just as we arrived at the apartment. Poor Mark got the worst of that one. Pretty sure it is anxiety and fear. He would not eat any lunch. Matthew is very sad at times and also is definitely testing boundaries. His transition may be more difficult than Maia's was. I think one thing that makes it harder for him is that he is quite verbal. So, it is very frustrating for him when he talks to us and we have no clue what he is saying... well, except for peeska (pee). But, he is already saying a few English words and I'm sure he will pick things up quickly. Maia wasn't verbal when we brought her home so she may have experienced less frustration.

In any case, would you please pray for our sweet boy? Pray that the vomiting is truly just nerves and nothing else. Pray that God will give Matthew peace and reassurance that he is safe and treasured in his forever family.

Yes... I know I have not shared about Gotcha Day and I will do that either tomorrow or Friday. But, I just wanted to give you a quick update and now I'm headed for bed.

Gotcha Day!!

2011-07-19T21:32:00.077-05:00

I'm backdating this post so it actually ends up in the right order of things here on the blog. We started Tuesday off and running again. Back to Balaclava to pick up the birth certificates. It only took a few minutes, but was a sweet moment to hold that certificate listing our names as parents of Matthew Dmitriy Hansen!!

Then, to the notary to sign paperwork for the passport application and to the bank to drop off more paperwork. We had a little bit of a break so were able to go back to the apartment for lunch. Back to the bank in the afternoon to close the bank account. Morgan was such a blessing for us during all of this running. She generously came to our apartment and stayed with Maia! It would have been a long day for our girl spent in the hot car so we can't thank her enough for this gift!

We stopped to pick up the girls and then headed to the orphanage for the BIG moment! Matthew was waiting in his groupa for us. I helped him dress in his new clothes and then began our good-byes.

Handsome boy - he LOVES his shades!

I could just see how much this caregiver loves our little boy and how bittersweet it was for her to see him leave. We shared tears together and I hope that she knows how treasured he will be in our family.

We said good-bye and thank you to Angelina, the orphanage director and Matthew walked out the door - an orphan no more!!!

Went to pick up his passport and then back to the apartment for our first night as a family of four. Things were kind of hectic, but Maia thought it was pretty neat to have Matthew with us. Mark gave him a bath, we had a quick dinner, put the kids to bed, finished packing for our early morning, and headed for bed ourselves.
God's hand was evident throughout the day as we encountered computer issues and other potential delays. But, He favored us by getting everything accomplished that was necessary for us to finish in Sevastopol on schedule! He is so good!

WE GOT HIM

2011-07-19T13:50:00.000-05:00

We picked him up @ 4pm. It is 10pm now & we have a car coming @ 4am. We will blog more in a day or two

mark

It's Official and a few pics!

2011-07-18T08:40:00.000-05:00

The court decree came into effect today - the 10 day waiting period is over and Matthew Dmitriy Hansen is officially our son!! Rejoice with us and praise God for this wonderful gift!
We spent the morning in the car. First, we went to the State Department Administration to pick up some paperwork. Then to the court house to obtain 10 copies of the court decree. After that, we went to Balaclava to request the new birth certificates for Matthew and Mackenzie (the Mickschl's daughter). Unfortunately, their computers were down and we will have to go back tomorrow morning. It's not like at home where things are usually back up and running within a short period of time. We headed to the notary to drop off papers to be prepared for signature and then to the bank to drop off papers to close the kids' bank accounts. This money is released to the orphanage when they leave. It is VERY hot today and Maia was miserable. Olga took pity on us and we came back to the apartment while she continued the legwork. We've had a lazy afternoon, took a short nap, and I've done a little more packing in anticipation of leaving for Kyiv early Wednesday morning. The plan is to pick Matthew about 24 hours from now (around 8:30am Minnesota time) and bring him back to the apartment. I'm so excited!!! Here are a couple of photos from yesterday and then I will end with a few prayer requests.

Ok, so it's not a very good picture. I really just wanted to show Matthew pouting. He was doing something he wasn't supposed to and we gave him a time out. Oh, life is tough - lol!!!

We have a few prayer requests for the next couple of days.

Pray that we will be able to complete all the necessary paperwork tomorrow to obtain Matthew and Mackenzie's new birth certificates and passports. If we are not able to get the passports, it could delay our return home by a week.
Peace for Matthew as he leaves the orphanage. While I am sure he will be excited, he is leaving his home of two years with people that he doesn't (really) know and who don't have a clue what he is saying. There has to be some fear as well.
Pray for Mackenzie as she leaves the orphanage as well. This is the only home she has ever known.
For all three kiddos (Matthew, Maia, Mackenzie) to have a quiet evening and good night's sleep. We will be leaving Sevastopol around 4am on Wednesday morning to drive to Simferopol where we will catch our flight to Kyiv.
Safe journeys as we travel.

Thanks for your prayers. I'm going to post the Nikitsky Garden pics later, but I've spent enough time on the computer for now.

Sunday

2011-07-17T12:44:00.000-05:00

Today is Sunday. We like to give the driver a day off to use as family time. But we will not see Matthew on Monday so Melanie wanted to see him today. I wanted to give Vitaly the day off. So we went to see Matthew. Monday we have a lot going on, getting paper work done so we can pick up Matthew on Tuesday to take him with us to Kiev.

Mark

Sobering Reminder

2011-07-16T13:03:00.001-05:00

I was all set for a light, fluffy blog post tonight. Had a nice afternoon visiting the Nikitsky Botanical Gardens with Hansina and Morgan and enjoyed the day. I was going to post pictures with the beautiful scenery. But, I got on the computer to upload the photos and started reading the blogs I follow.

One of the entries was titled "How Can This Be?" There was a video link and I began watching. Soon, I was in tears. And I am reminded of the reason we are here. Yes, it is to bring home our son. So far this trip, my heart has not been broken like it was last time. I've been able to not be so emotional about the kiddos. But, after watching this video, I am again brought to my knees. All of a sudden I feel like what we have done is not enough, can never be enough as long as there a children out there who do not know the love of a forever family. The video is from His Kids Too. We were blessed to be able to meet the director of this orphan ministry on our way to Ukraine last month. She is passionate about saving the forgotten souls who are institutionalized because they are considered less than perfect by their society.

Our son was in danger of being transferred to a place like this when he turned four (last month). If you have the opportunity to meet him, you will know what a tragedy this would have been! For ANY child, transfer to this type of institution is a tragedy. I thank God that we were able to complete our paperwork to make him part of our family before that happened. Please take a few minutes to watch this video - ask yourself what YOU can do!

Black, Red, and a little Blue

2011-07-15T13:33:00.000-05:00

Black??

Sevastopol is located on the Black Sea. Today, Vitaly took us to the beach. These are military ships providing security because the Russian and Ukrainian presidents are in town for a motorcycle show this weekend.

Here's the beach. You can see that it goes on for quite a distance. It is very rocky!

Mark in Black Sea

Maia and I sitting near the water. At first, I had her sitting facing the water. She was terrified when even small waves came up to us. So, I turned her to face me and she felt more secure. Gradually, she got a little more comfortable but still didn't want to get to close.

Maia did enjoy playing in the rocks. Vitaly is in the background.

Mark did take Maia out into the water. She was not too sure about that, but safe in daddy's arms.

That was about as deep as I was willing to go. The temp was pretty cool at first, but after being in the water for a little while, it felt good.

RED?

Yep, that would be my back. And this is after applying SPF 50! The clerk at the store warned me that it was for children, but really??? Maia isn't red at all! Go figure!

Tired out from the sun and playing!

And a little blue...

Didn't get to see my sweet boy today. We went to the orphanage this afternoon with Olga and the Mickschls to make our donations, but left without seeing Matthew. I hope he is ok. I can't wait to see him tomorrow morning.

We'll go the orphanage in the AM. After that, the plan is that Hansina, Morgan, and I will go to Nikitsky Botanic Gardens. Mark and Maia are going back to the apartment for an afternoon of relaxation.

from Mark

2011-07-14T11:57:00.001-05:00

I have not said too much on the blog for a few days. That is because Melanie does such a great job. But I don't think she will write about this. I am amazed at the stuff she cooks up here. We can't read Russian or know exactly what we buy at the store. I think the meat we get is ham and ground beef a few times chicken. She makes tacos, meatballs in some kind of sauce, the best fried ham & cheese sandwich, very good pasta salads and more. One morning we has french toast. We didn't have any syrup so she made some out of white sugar and other stuff, I think there was some jam in it for flavor.I am amazed at how well she cooks over here. We don't even have a stove, just a gas cook top.

Mark

Will there be another trip to Sevastopol?

2011-07-13T12:30:00.000-05:00

My blogging time while here in Ukraine has been much less than our last trip here. Something to do with a busy three year old, I’m sure – lol! I really haven’t had the opportunity to share my heart, but I’m just going to take the time and see how far I get…

Many people have asked if I’ve met any other children at the orphanage that I can’t live without. Good question. Most of the children that we met last time we were here are gone. We know that at least one has been adopted (by the Allen family who we were blessed to meet before they headed back to the States with their precious Annie), the others – we don’t know. It is my prayer that they are now with their forever families and not transferred to other institutions. There are two children still in the groupa that we first met in December. One of them is a little girl who I loved even then. IF there was any chance of bringing her home, Mark might have a fight on his hands. But, she and the little boy are both “family children” – meaning that they have family who visit them regularly and are not available for adoption. There is a younger girl with very obvious fetal alcohol syndrome who is just adorable as well, so many sweet faces who are in need of forever families. Precious souls that are aching for the love of parents. It is heartbreaking.

Those of you who have followed our blog for a while may remember when I first mentioned Matthew. It was December 4, 2010 and I commented about a “special needs” little boy. There were other children who would probably catch a person’s eye much more than he would. I actually posted about that very topic on December 18. But, looks don’t matter to a mama’s heart. And each day we visited Maia, I loved that sweet boy a little more. When we picked Maia up on Christmas Day, I left a piece of my heart at the detsky dom with Matthew. He was always in my prayers, never far from my mind - even though I’m sure Mark hoped that I would be able to “let it go.” But, instead God chose us to be Matthew’s parents! And it all began when he gave me a heart for a child that wasn’t what the world would consider perfect.

So… have I met another child that I can’t live without? Is there a longing in my heart for more of the children that we have met during Matthew’s adoption? Well, I would love to pack up ALL of the children, bring them back to the US and find homes for them! But, no one has captured a place like our son did. And that is even more confirmation that my heart knew back in December what Mark and I didn’t know at the time. That we would be returning to Ukraine just a short time after leaving to bring home a son named Matthew Dmitriy Hansen.

For now anyway, my wonderful husband can rest assured that I feel our family is complete with Matthew and Maia. If God chooses to show us something different, we will cross that bridge when we get to it. :-)

Ahh... the heat!

2011-07-12T14:10:00.000-05:00

It was another hot day here in Sevastopol, it was 91.4 degrees F at about 9am this morning. And everyone knows how I love hot weather - lol! I told Mark that it is probably to his benefit that the weather is so hot. I know my way around town much better now and would probably be out ~~shopping~~ seeing the sites.

We were late getting to the orphanage this morning so we didn't have a very long visit with Matthew. But, it was a good one. He was in a happy mood, full of love for "da-yee" and mama. Tried his new-to-him sandals on and they fit perfectly. He was quite proud of them (beats the lavendar sandals with flowers that he was wearing today), showing them to the caregivers. When we had to leave, he took them off without protest to put the others back on. Yesterday, we helped him try on the clothes that I had bought and I think he is starting to understand that we are doing things in preparation for leaving the orphanage.

Stopped to pick up lunch at McD's on the way back to the apartment. Had a short nap this afternoon and then walked up to the street market to get some water. Also, picked up cucumbers, sweet corn, and bread. Came home and then, Genya picked me up and took me to a salon for a manicure. His wife is a hair dresser and she arranged an appointment for me with one of her friends. $5 total for the manicure including tip! Boy, if manicures were that reasonable at home, I might be able to have them more often.

Leftovers for dinner and now, I've been trying to get our flights back to Kyiv booked. Thought I had a great deal for airfare but couldn't get the transaction to complete so lost out on the terrific price. Hansina couldn't get her purchase to go through either so we are going to meet them at the travel agent on our way to the orphanage tomorrow morning and buy our tickets together.

I've got so many thoughts about our journey that I want to share. I'm going to have to just take some time to sit down and write it all out. Soon, I promise. It's getting late and I need to get to bed.

A couple of prayer requests to end with:
- One of Mark's flying buddies was killed last weekend when his plane crashed. We don't know any specifics, but please keep Mark Ellis's family in your prayers at this difficult time.
- Pray that we will be able to purchase plane tickets at a reasonable price for our return to Kyiv next week. Since it is the height of tourist season, demand is high so cost/availability are a concern.
- I will mention this again as the day approaches, but please be praying for red passports for Matthew as well as Mackenzie (the Mickschls' daughter). If we are unable to get them, it will delay our return home and result in a significant expense due to already scheduled flights.

Happy Monday!

2011-07-11T13:11:00.001-05:00

Another hot day here in Sevastopol. One of the food items that we have not found here in Ukraine is maple or pancake syrup. I had old bread to use up so decided to make my own syrup this morning. Surprisingly, it didn't turn out too bad. I improvised a recipe that I had found online to make a peach syrup for our french toast. Maia thought it was a hit. She is amazing me with all of the foods she is trying. I hope it continues when we get home!
Alex was off today and Vitaly was driving the Mickschls so we had a new (to us) driver, Ghenya (sure I spelled that wrong) - he spoke English pretty well and we enjoyed having him with us for the day.
Visited Matthew this morning. Hansina took a couple of pics and was kind enough to email them to me so I will share here.

Playing on the slide. There is a little cement wading pool just to the left side of this picture (does it make sense that the slide doesn't go into the pool?).

Maia signing "more" sliding, please! The hat was a present from Dasha and her mom. I mentioned them last week - the Ukraine family who is adopting a little boy.

After our visit, we went out for lunch with the Mickschls. We went to a seafood restaurant which was quite good. This is my calamari appetizer.

Mark's grilled tiger prawns

Happy girl!!

Outside the restaurant on the waterfront.

Government buildings across the "bay"

Rest of the day was quiet. We're starting to count down... 12 days from now, we will be on our way home with our son!! Please pray that God is preparing Matthew for this huge change in his life.

Lazy Day

2011-07-10T14:04:00.000-05:00

Had a pretty quiet day. Went to bed late last night so we were all late getting up this morning. After getting Maia situated and finished with breakfast, I walked up to the street market. I wanted to dig through stuff at the second hand "store" there. Since we were going to come home during the waiting period, I didn't bring any clothes for Matthew. Wanted to know what size he wore before buying things (although I had picked up a few items before we left). I remembered him being small - knew that compared to Maia, holding Matthew was like nothing at all. And I was right. Most of the kids clothing at the orphanage doesn't have tags in it, but he was wearing a t-shirt and shorts the other day which we "92" - which translates to about a 2T in American sizes. The boy has some catching up to do! He is a little taller than Maia, but not much.
Anyway... we need to get a few things for him until we can get home and I can get him some clothes. Not a whole lot of selection, but I did find a few items that we will take to the ophanage tomorrow and try on Matthew. Interestingly, the clothes are sold by weight. So, I got 4 shirts and 2 pairs of shorts for 19.5uah or about $3.25. I also got him a pair of sandals for about $5 - shoes tend to be more expensive here. Figure if things don't fit, will just leave them at the orphanage.
Picked up some more sweet corn, nectarines, bananas, and potatoes at the market. Had the sweet corn for lunch and it was really good! Short nap this afternoon, then Maia and I went for a walk. It's pretty warm so we were only gone about 30 minutes. She doesn't seem to tolerate the heat any better than I do. Came home, fixed dinner, and washed some clothes (by hand - I will be SOOO glad to use my washing machine again). Now, ready for bed.
We'll visit Matthew tomorrow morning and may go out to dinner with the Mickschls tomorrow evening. Today was Mark's (Mickschl) birthday - wishes for a wonderful year! I have to say that it really has been a blessing having them here at the same time as we are. We haven't spent a lot of time together, but usually catch up for a few minutes at the orphanage and talk via phone daily. Just having that contact with others who speak the same language and share this journey, Christian faith as well as a heart for the orphan is wonderful! Thank you for your prayers for their daughter Morgan - she was diagnosed with tonsilitis and is now on an antibiotic. Finally starting to feel better today.
That's about all for tonight. We're starting to count down the days. Flight home is booked (don't even get me started on that mess - may share more later) for July 23. YAY!

God's Perfect Timing

2011-07-09T07:55:00.001-05:00

I've mentioned that Ukraine has passed new legislation which will limit international adoption of Ukrainian children under the age of 5 unless they have specific medical diagnoses. Today, I saw the list of approved diagnoses which is actually quite small. Neither of our children have diagnoses that would have allowed us to adopt them following the implementation of this new legislation. While I understand the rationale for the legislation, it breaks my heart that there are many children who may never know the love of a forever family because of it. And I truly praise God that He allowed us to adopt Maia and Matthew before this change occurred! He knew that we needed to get our kiddos home and He made it happen - both times. We are truly blessed!!

Cranky Days

2011-07-09T07:41:00.000-05:00

I think we (Mark, Maia, and I) are all ready to be home again. Each of us has been a little bit cranky over the past couple of days. Mark's not feeling well so if you would include him in your prayers, that would be wonderful. Nothing serious, probably just a virus or something along those lines.
Maia has been exercising her lungs - lol! All things considered, she has done extremely well during our trip thus far. But, yesterday and today have been a battle of wills. She is determined to show how strong-willed she can be. In some things, that's ok. I know that as a parent I have to choose my battles. However, there are times when she needs a reminder she is not the one who gets to have all the control. So... she's having some unhappy moments. I'm sure that Sergei and Ludmila (the property owners) probably wonder what kind of torture we are putting the poor girl through. Oh, it is tough when you have to drink the WHOLE glass of milk or water at mealtimes. But, she doesn't drink much in the first place. It's very hot here right now and I don't want her to get dehydrated or have kidney difficulty. Try to explain that to a three year old! :-)
Ah, yes... the heat makes me cranky, too. I've never been a fan of hot weather and if you've been following the blog for a while, you may recall that Thankful Thursday during the summer often includes my gratitude for central air conditioning. Which is non-existent here in Ukraine. So, I am grouchy and sweaty.

Yesterday, we visited Matthew in the morning. Came back to the apartment for a quick lunch and then Vitaly took us to Alupka. We had visited the Alupinksy Castle last time, but were only able to tour the grounds as the castle itself is closed on Mondays (when we were there). So, we went back. Note to self - do NOT expect a hot, cranky 3 year old to behave on a guided tour. Yeah, not so pretty. Mark took Maia out shortly after the tour began and I finished the rest of the tour without them. We had hoped to go to Yalta, but it was getting late and as noted above, Maia was cranky so we just came home. Here are a few pics from our trip.

Palace Grounds

A greenhouse type room in the palace. Beautiful flowers here.

Wine cooling tub in the dining room

Isn't this a spectacular view of the mountains from the palace grounds? You can't see it but to the right is the Black Sea. It is breathtaking!

The view to the right of the above pic.

There is a pond on the palace grounds with two swans.

The tree behind us is the only one of it's kind alive in the world. Not sure what it is.

Every day when we arrive at the orphanage, Maia goes running to the play area where Matthew's groupa is. She squeals, "There he is" when she sees him. And Matthew runs to give Mama and Papa ("Da-yee") a hug before giving Maia a kiss. He proudly tells all the caregivers that we are his mama and papa.

Proud to announce....

2011-07-07T02:55:00.000-05:00

The newest member of the Hansen Family!

Meet our son

Matthew Dmitriy Hansen

Matthew means "Gift of God" and this sweet boy is truly a gift to us! We are honored and blessed that God chose us to be his parents.

Six months ago on Christmas Day, we left the orphanage with our precious daughter. On that day, I held this child in my arms trying to tell him how loved he was, never expecting to see him again this side of heaven.

Today, I get the privilege of being mom to two Ukrainian cuties. I am so thankful that my wonderful husband was faithful to God's call!

2011-07-06T13:10:00.000-05:00

We've had a good day today. Visited Matthew this morning. The Mickschls visit their adorable little girl at the same time and it is always wonderful to see them. Their daughter Morgan (12 yrs old) is here with them. She is not feeling well, sore throat - swollen lymph nodes, etc. Would you please pray for healing for her? It is a scary thing to have your child be ill in a foreign country where medical care is different than we have at home.
There is a Ukrainian family who also visits the orphanage that we enjoy seeing as well. They adopted their daughter Dasha 2 years ago from the orphanage and now are adopting a little boy. Dasha is a cutie. Today, she had a good time playing with Matthew while her Mom got to cuddle with little Maxim.
Matthew found Maia's sunglasses in my bag today and loved wearing them. They are purple and yellow, not really appropriate for a little boy so we did buy him some "cool" shades but are saving them for after "Gotcha Day" since we would likely not see them again if we left them at the orphanage. Anyway... so Matthew was wearing Maia's shades and at the end of our visit time, we took them and put them away. All of a sudden, the world came to an end. That was the first we have really seen of a tantrum in Matthew. He's had moments of unhappiness, but wow - he was wailing loudly for a long time. We took him back to the groupa and the caregivers told us just to go instead of trying to say good-bye and upset him more. Poor kid... we had already tried some shoes on him and had to take those away (again until "Gotcha Day). He has nothing that is truly "his" so I felt bad, but soon he will know what it's like to have some of his own things. On that note, he and Maia are doing pretty good in sharing with each other. I'm sure there will be lots of battles ahead, but so far there have not been any knock-down, drag out fights - lol!
After visiting Matthew, we went to McD's for lunch. Vitaly had his son Vlad with him today so they came along. Vlad got a happy meal which he was pretty excited about. Then, came back to the apartment so Maia could have a short nap before we walked up to the street market to pick up a few things. We saw one of our "friends" from last trip, he was so happy to see us and I attempted to explain that we had adopted Maia last time and now were back for a son. I think he understood because he was smiling, nodding, and kissed my hand.
We got some fresh Bing cherries 28uah/kg which is cheap compared to prices at home - less than $2/pound. Had them with some chicken/veggie pasta salad and left over sweet corn for dinner. Maia has really been doing pretty well eating over here. She had ham, apple, sweet corn, and tried (LOVED) the cherries! I keep telling her how proud I am of her for trying new things - she's been more "adventurous" than she is at home.
Olga should be here any time. We have a three bedroom apartment and she stays in the 3rd bedroom when in town (same as last trip). We'll talk briefly about what to expect tomorrow and then hit the sack. Yes... we are "geezers" - ready to be in bed and it's only a little after 9pm.
Tomorrow morning, we have court at 9:00am (1:00am, CST). We will meet with the judge and jurors who will make the decision whether or not to approve our adoption. While we don't anticipate any surprises, we still ask for your prayers.
Will update you and yes... finally be able to share some pictures of our little guy tomorrow afternoon or evening!

This and That

2011-07-05T12:00:00.000-05:00

Some day, Maia will hate us for this picture - lol!!

Daddy trying to "stretch" Matthew out

Yes, I had to get a purse while I am here this time. This is my Versace knock-off - 100uah or about $12

On our way home from the market up the street. Maia loves pushing the stroller.

Yesterday when we went to the orphanage, Matthew wasn't in his groupa. From the caregiver, I was able to determine that he had some type of "reaction." So, we headed to the infirmary. No Matthew. I did start to get a little concerned then. Called Olga who called Angelina (the orphanage director). One of the caregivers had taken him to the clinic to pick up paperwork which we need for his medical exam and Embassy visit in Kyiv. He was quiet when he got back. I won't go into the details here. We had a short visit because it was lunch time. At the end of our time, Mark went to see if the kids were still outside or if we needed to take Matthew inside. I stayed with Maia and Matthew. When I saw Mark coming back, I asked Matthew where daddy was. He went running to Mark, yelling "Da-yee, Da-yee." It was pretty cute!
Today, Matthew was more his excited self. Let me tell you, this boy adores his daddy!! He mimics Mark and loves to have daddy chase him around. Anything to get daddy's attention. Pretty sure he will be his father's son - lol! Our visit was a little short, the caregiver came and got him early - something about bathing, I think.
After we left the orphanage, Vitaly took us to the bazaar (one of the street markets) where we had shopped last trip. Mark was a good sport while I looked for a purse. Then, we went on a hunt for acetaminophen (Tylen*l). Apparently, you can't get it in this country anymore due to a decision to not renew the registration of the product here. Weird, huh?
Came back to the apartment, had lunch, and relaxed for a little while. Then, we walked up to the street market. We are hoping to see the English speaking lady we met last trip and another kind gentleman who sold fruit, but they have not been there so far. Picked up sweet corn which we had for dinner with a chicken hash that I made. No bragging, but it was pretty good.
Tomorrow, we will visit Matthew again in the morning. Since I didn't get out and explore today, I think I will do that in the afternoon if weather permits. The sun is very hot here, but when it is behind the clouds things are usually pretty comfortable.
I want to tell you about our sweet boy, but have been on the computer long enough so I will quit for tonight. Only two days until court - yay!

As promised...

2011-07-04T11:58:00.000-05:00

Ok, for those of you who are getting ornery (Linda - lol), here is the long awaited status report.

The holidays here in Ukraine have delayed things a little more than we anticipated. Our plan was to come home after court during the 10 day waiting period. I was going back to work for a couple of weeks and Mark would take Maia to Canada. She was going to stay with Nana and Papa while we came back to get Matthew. It made sense for a couple of reasons. First, I really needed to be at work. My peers have been very gracious in covering for me - especially since I have not even been back for six months following Maia's adoption. One of my co-workers is on leave with health concerns and so staffing is tight. So, it is important to me to be respectful of my employer.
Second, traveling with a toddler is stressful. Because Maia is still developing that attachment and bonding with us, we didn't feel comfortable leaving her for five weeks. But, she loves her Nana and Papa. So, Mark and I felt that the best option would be for Maia to spend the time during our second trip with them. We would only have one child to travel with each trip.
However, things don't always work out the way we planned. As I mentioned above, Ukraine holidays have affected some of the adoption process. We are scheduled for court on July 7. The earliest that we could fly home would be July 9 (assuming we could even get plane tickets). We would have less than a week at home before flying back to Ukraine on July 16. Airfare is running about $2,000/person right now and I wouldn't make anywhere near that in the four days that I would be at home working. Plus, the exhaustion of so much travel in such a short time.
We considered so many different options... both of us going home and coming back, both of us going home and only one of us coming back, one of us going home with Maia and coming back while the other stayed here, one of us going home with Maia and not coming back while the other stayed to bring Matthew home. There were pros and cons with each. After much consideration and prayer, we decided that we would stay here together as a family and come home as family (with our new addition). I am not looking forward to traveling with two toddlers, but we will survive. As always, God's plan is perfect and He has a reason that things are working out this way instead of the way that we planned. I DO think it will be good for Maia that Matthew comes home with all of us together instead of us leaving her and then showing up with him a few weeks later. And it would have been very hard for me to leave him at the orphanage, knowing that he may not have understood that we were coming back.
So, that's where things are at. We will have court on July 7. On July 18, the court decree will come into effect and we will begin the paper chase to apply for/obtain Matthew's new birth certificate and passport. We anticipate that our Gotcha Day will be on July 20 and then we will head for Kyiv to complete the medical exam/Embassy visit to get Matthew's visa so that we can head home somewhere around July 23-25.
I'll share more about our little guy in the next day or two. After court on Thursday, you will get to see pics of him!!
I'm hoping tomorrow will be a nice day and maybe we can do a little exploring.
Oh, and just a "funny" side note... the books that I left here in the apartment on our last trip were on the shelf waiting for me. It's kind of nice because I didn't bring much reading material this time. Yep... God knew that we would be back here!

A couple of pics and Happy 4th of July!

2011-07-04T07:21:00.001-05:00

This is the office of the State Department in Sevastopol, where we met with the administrator last week.

Daddy posing for Matthew, he loves taking pictures!

Dinner with new friends, the Allens (on the left), the Mickschls (center), and us on the right

Maia hiding in one of the little cubbies in our room at the hotel.

Today, our nation's celebration of Independence takes on a special meaning for me. Wish we were at home honoring the day, but soon, our son will know a new kind of freedom and I can't wait for him to experience that!

No... I have not forgotten my promise to update you on where things are at with the "process." I'll be posting it soon!

Another move and settled in

2011-07-03T13:01:00.000-05:00

We had a nice time last night with the Mickschls and Allens. We had arranged to meet for ice cream, but all of us had the same idea and arrived at McD's earlier than planned to have dinner first. So, we had dinner together and after visiting a while, continued our time together at the Mickschls apartment (right above McDs). It was a blessing to be able to spend time with others who are sharing a similar journey. This is the second adoption trip to Ukraine in less than a year for each of our families. Our evening ended with prayer and hugs for everyone. I didn't get the chance to say this last night, but thanks to Morgan for keeping Maia entertained!
I think I mentioned that the Mickschls had planned to move into the apartment we stayed in last time when the Allens headed back to Kyiv today. And we were scheduled to move into an apartment in the same quad on Tuesday. The Mickschls called this morning saying that they were very happy in their current location and asking if we would like our "old" apartment. Mark and I talked it over and decided to accept their offer. So, we packed up our things and checked out of the motel. Alex brought us to Sergei and Ludmila's place and we are now settled in. I've got things unpacked and it feels good to know that we will be in one place until we leave for Kyiv. We walked to the street market a few blocks away and I made spaghetti for dinner when we came back.
Maia is sleeping now. She's had a difficult couple of days, today more so. She got to bed late last night and was up way too early this morning. I'm sure the novelty of this traveling has worn off. Today was quite warm and she doesn't seem to do well in the heat, either.
When I blogged yesterday, I know I said I was going to update you on Matthew's adoption status and I'm sorry... I'm going to keep you in suspense one more day. It's getting late and I'm pretty tired. We will visit the orphanage in the morning and I will blog tomorrow afternoon with a progress report.
For today, a couple of prayer requests
- Pray for the Allens. They will arrive in Kyiv Monday morning and begin the Embassy/medical exam process to obtain Anastasia's visa. They hope to be heading home Thursday.
- Pray that Maia will feel more settled and secure now that we are not moving around so much. And that God will continue to prepare her for yet another life changing event when we bring Matthew home with us.
- Pray for bonding and attachment with Matthew. That God is preparing him to be part of our family and readying him for the journey that lies ahead.
- Pray for peace and comfort for Mark and I. There are times when things seem overwhelming. We miss home and long to be there with both of our kiddos.

Moved and back on-line

2011-07-02T07:38:00.000-05:00

It's Saturday at 3pm here. We visited Matthew this morning. He was not as sad as yesterday, although we got to see a little bit of a stubborn streak. Before Maia gets a treat, she has to drink some water or milk. In being fair, we demonstrated to Matthew that he needed to do the same. He stuck his lower lip out (yes, mom - probably similar to the way I used to act when I was younger) and refused. Eventually, he realized that we weren't giving in and decided he could drink some water. We didn't see any excessive temper or anything like that which is positive. We saw the Mickschls for a few minutes - their daughter Mackenzie is absolutely precious! Their older daughter Morgan who accompanied them on the trip is beautiful as well!
Came back to the apartment and finished packing things up. We had planned on walking down to McD's for lunch and to see the Mickschls apartment before Vitaly picked us up at 1:30pm. Our landlady arrived at 12:15pm and ~~demanded~~ requested that we move out immediately. So, we brought our luggage downstairs and waited for Vitaly.
We're back at the hotel we stayed in for the first two nights. We've moved to a different suite where we have the main room and a small bedroom for Maia. It is a very nice place - about 600uah/night or $75/night which is more expensive than we had planned, but we are comfortable. No microwave or stove, but there is a refrigerator and we will be fine until we move to our apartment. That is planned for Tuesday.
Tonight, we are going to meet the Mickschls and Allens at McD's for a treat. The Allens will leave for Kyiv with their daughter Anastasia tomorrow evening. If you would include them in your prayers as they complete the final leg of their journey, we would appreciate it and I know they would, too.
Tomorrow, we plan on a lazy day. We won't visit the orphanage so that the drivers can have a day off. I think there is a small playgrouind next to the hotel so Maia and I may check that out. Perhaps I can catch up on emails and the blogs I follow. I don't have quite as much time as last trip since a certain three year old is keeping me more busy - lol!
I'll blog either later today or tomorrow about where things are at with the adoption process. Our schedule and plans have changed from what we anticipated when we left home. But, God is in control and walking with us each step of the way.

Daily news

2011-07-01T07:03:00.004-05:00

Thursday, we were able to visit Matthew in the morning. It’s nice to do that and have the rest of the day to relax. Last night, we met the Allens and the Mickschls for dinner at a nearby café. It was a short walk and the weather was perfect. We ate at this café on our last trip and they had a meat soup with lemon that was wonderful. That was what I had. Mark had a pork chop which he said was very good and Maia had a plain omelette (read, egg only) and some French fries. She also had some dark bread which Mark Mickschl was kind enough to share.

We lost our internet this morning (not quite sure why) so I am typing this up in anticipation of heading to Mickey D’s later for their wi-fi and perhaps some ice cream. The washing machine part arrived, but the repairman wasn’t able to fix it (again… not sure why) so the landlady took our laundry home to wash. Very nice of her considering that we have to leave this apartment tomorrow. It is reserved for someone else. We knew that when we moved in, but our options were this for short term or staying at the hotel. It’s been nice to have the kitchen here.

Maia and I walked to the nearby park before lunch. There are kiddie rides, toys, and refreshments to purchase. We just went to the free play area where Maia was very happy on the swing and jungle gym. On our way back to the apartment, we stopped at a bakery we had noticed the other day. I picked up a few cookies that looked like giant meringues. We had them for dessert after tacos. They were even better than meringue cookies. They were like that on the outside, but the inside was like angel food cake. One was coconut and the other was a maple nut flavor – oh, my goodness – I think they are my new favorite food here!

Visited the orphanage this afternoon. As soon as Maia saw Matthew, she said “There he is” in that very happy way of hers. It was so sweet! Our boy wasn’t having a good day today. He was sitting on a bench looking very sad when we arrived. One of the caregivers was talking with him, not sure if he was in trouble or what. But, he was pretty subdued. We brought bubbles for the kids. Matthew spilled most of his and was upset when we wouldn’t let him have Maia’s. Matthew likes to dig around in the bag that I bring with and we have started putting it where he can’t reach it. Today, he was trying to get at it and kept repeating something over and over – wish we knew what he was trying to say. He just wasn’t his usual happy, exuberant self. When our visit was over, we took Matthew back to his groupa and he went without saying good-bye. I walked up to where he was and picked him up and just held him close, told him that I love him in Russian and kissed him. He smiled a sad, little smile and oh, those sad eyes. Mark kissed him good-bye and I held him for a while longer, trying to tell him that we would be back tomorrow. My heart was so heavy and the tears were flowing as we left. Would you pray that God would just begin the healing process in that precious heart?

Tomorrow, we will visit Matthew again in the morning. We have to be back at the apartment at noon. Our landlady will be bringing our laundry back and we will move back to the hotel for a few days. Early next week, we will move to the complex where we stayed for Maia’s adoption. The Mickschls will be staying in the apartment we had last time and we will stay across the courtyard from them. The frequent moving isn’t so much fun, but this is peak tourist season here so availability is limited and we are thankful that we have had nice places to stay.

I better stop and get dinner ready. More soon!

Thursday June 30

2011-06-30T06:28:00.000-05:00

We went to see Matthew this morning at 10am. It was a good visit. Maia told Matthew no when Melanie was getting a snack ready. she said no and pushed his arm away. Matthew loves to climb on their version of a jungle gym.
Tonight we will meet with two other familys who are here from the US. to have a nice dinner.We should have some pictures of that in the next few days.

Appointment update and a little reality

2011-06-29T12:46:00.000-05:00

We had a lazy morning again. Got ready for our state department appointment after lunch. Vitaly picked us up and we headed to the office. We met up with Olga and the Mickschls there. We haven't seen them since Kyiv so it was nice to visit for a little while before our meeting. I looked back at our blog to see what I wrote about this appointment last time. I had commented about it being a very somber and serious meeting, lasting about 45 minutes. I remember feeling closely scrutinized about our motives for adopting Maia.
While I wasn't nervous about today, I was anticipating a similar experience. The meeting was held in the office of the administrator of the state department. There was another state department employee there as well as Angelina (the orphanage director), Olga, Mark and me (and Maia, of course). At the last meeting, there was also a social worker present. She was not there today - she's on maternity leave after adopting a beautiful little girl from M&M's orphanage - we did see her on our first day here. Anyway... Marina presented the information about Matthew to the administrator. She then spoke on our behalf and told how we had adopted Maia six months ago, speaking about how much progress she has made in the time since she has been home with us. The administrator asked if we were fully informed about Matthew's medical diagnosis. He asked why we specifically wanted to adopt Matthew, if we owned our own home, and if Mark was unemployed. When we explained that this was a intentional choice so that he could be home with Maia and now Matthew until they started school while I work, the administrator seemed satisfied with that. I think Olga is quite persuasive in her discusions about where I work and the importance of that in caring for the kids. Olga was translating for us and she started to say, "It is our regret...." Mark and I both just froze. We didn't look at each other, but were prepared for the worst. I was trying to read Olga's face and it was without expression. She continued saying "that no one in our country will adopt [Matthew] so we will support your adoption." Whew! That was a nervewracking moment. We asked her to give the administrator our thanks and explained that we would have been very happy if a family in Ukraine had adopted him because that was what is most important to us. But, we are grateful for the opportunity to be his family. Whole appointment lasted about 15 minutes.
Visited the orphanage later in the day. Matthew came running to us, I was closest so I got the first hug but then it was all about "papa." Mark is teaching him "daddy" and within just a few times, Matthew was repeating it back. He is so much different than Maia. He's really quite loud and tries so hard to communicate with us, we can see it is frustrating to him when he can't get his point across. We can see that there is a long road ahead teaching him about appropriate social behavior. I suppose some of it is just personality difference given that they were in the same groupa. He was so sad when we left this afternoon. It is hard to see that. He must wonder why Maia gets to go with us and he doesn't.
Olga put our paperwork (along with the Mickschl's paperwork) on the night train to Kyiv. This is our approval from the state department to adopt. It will go the SDA for processing and gives us permission to go to court. At this point, we still don't know when our court date will be.
Tomorrow, we will go the orphanage in the morning. The washing machine repairman is coming in the afternoon which will be good because I need to do some laundry. Tomorrow night, we are planning to have dinner with the Mickschls and the Allans. Olga, Vitaly, and Alex will accompany us. The Allans' court decree comes into effect on Friday so they will be able to pick up their daughter Friday evening if all the paperwork is completed. They will head back to Kyiv for the Embassy appts.
Today, I am reminded that I am sooo imperfect. This is an emotional journey. I have to look to God for strength and direction instead of just shutting down and becoming upset. I am very thankful that my sweet hubby tolerates some of my less than admirable moments.

Prayer requests for today include:
- Maia. I can tell she's feeling a little punky today. Nothing specific, no fever, cough. Perhaps just overly tired, but please pray that she will stay healthy and feel better tomorrow.
- Ongoing prayer request for the earliest possible court date.
- Strength for Mark and me in the journey that lies ahead. There are moments when it does seem a bit overwhelming. We had the same feelings last time and it does not change our desire to bring Matthew home. But, we know that it will not be an easy road.
- Continued bonding/attachment with our newly formed family.

Nothing much new

2011-06-28T12:53:00.000-05:00

Somehow, things seem much quieter this trip. Mark mentioned that maybe it is because we are not out seeing sites like we did last time. Having Maia with us makes that more challenging. There are a few places that we would like to see while we are here, but will probably wait until our second trip.
Although I just mentioned that having Maia here makes things more challenging, I do think it is for the best that we brought her with us. Her behaviors aren't much different than when we are at home, but she is thriving on the uninterrupted time with Mark and I right now.
Today was pretty uneventful. We stayed at the apartment this morning because the landlady was stopping by. She brought our laundry back and got a new light bulb for our bathroom. There were 4 total and they have burned out one by one since we have been here. The 12 foot ceilings make it impossible for us to change them ourselves.
After lunch, Maia had a nap. Then, she and I went out for a walk. It was an absolutely perfect day. Started with rain this morning, but the sun came out by noon, slight breeze - probably low 70's. Maia wanted to push the stroller so it was a leisurely walk for me. We walked for about 45 minutes, I'm sure it tired the girl out. Olga and Vitaly were waiting when we arrived back at the apartment and they commented on how tired she looked - lol!
Vitaly took us to the orphanage. Wish we'd had a video camera rolling when we got to the groupa. The kids were watching a video and Matthew ran to us with a big smile on his face. First, a hug for me then one for papa. Then, he got down and went up to Maia. They hugged each other and she gave him a kiss. It was pretty sweet. One of our favorite caregivers was there today - it was the first time we have seen her this trip. She was so happy to see Maia and tried to communicate how pleased she was with her progress. Once again, it brought joy to my heart. Went outside for our visit this afternoon. Matthew gets so excited, especially as he is trying to communicate with us. He can be very loud. Although we are limited in what we can do right now, we are trying to model quiet conversation and calm behavior for him as well as giving him some structure for what is appropriate and not.
Interacting with Matthew is a reminder for us of how far Maia has come in the time that she has been home. We don't always see the changes because we live with her every day and their has been gradual progress. Mark was commenting yesterday that some of Matthew's behaviors are similar to what we saw with Maia when we visited her at the orphanage. So, we know that there will be improvement as we guide him and help him to learn what it's like to be part of a family.
On a humorous note... Matthew is definitely a "boy." He is fascinated by snails, doesn't think much about getting dirty, etc. He will love digging for worms for fishing, I'm sure. Anyway, Mark did the "farmer nose blow" and mentioned that he should teach Matthew how to do that. Well, literally just as Mark was saying that, Matthew began copying Mark and trying to blow his nose that way. Mom may have to step in and teach some manners - lol! But, it was pretty funny to see him imitating daddy. He's never had a father figure in his life and I can already see how much he will thrive as he learns what having a daddy is all about.
After our visit, came back home and had dinner on the balcony. Grilled ham/cheese, ramen noodles (they make the BEST ones here) with some orange-chocolate cookies for dessert.

A couple of prayer requests for tomorrow (Wednesday):
- We meet with the local head of the state department at about 1:30pm (5:30am Minnesota time). I remember from last time that this was one of the most intimidating events that we had. He is the person who will give official approval to the SDA which will allow us to request our court date. Please pray that we will find favor with him.
- It will be a long afternoon for Maia. Pray that she will be patient and tolerant as we spend much time waiting and quiet.
- We may or may not get to visit Matthew tomorrow. It depends on how the day progresses. Pray that his heart will not be too hurt if we don't get to see him.
- For continued smooth progress in our journey to bring Matthew home.

Monday in Sevastopal

2011-06-27T13:19:00.000-05:00

Today we wanted to see Matthew in the morning, it is cooler then. But things didn't work that way. We have a problem with the washing machine. So we had to be here at 10am when they came to tell us that the washing machine is not working and they will come back on Tuesday or in two days (not sure because of language problems). So we went to see him at 4pm. When he saw Melanie he ran right to her. So all is good.

Mark

Ps. I'm sure Melanie will have a bigger and better account of things soon.